Oh yeah, I'm pumped

It's officially 6 days until the NIN/Queens of the Stone Age show at MSG. I got my tickets today. They are in section 88, row J. Yes, I'm feeling self-righteous and uppity.

Goddammit I love Josh Homme...it's like offensive how much so. I need to rest my head on my desk right now, it's that deep.

Meet my new best friend

Here name is Brandy*. She's funny as dick...and trust me, I know funny and I know dick.

http://www.brandyforsale.blogspot.com

*Okay, I don't know her, I just found her blog when I was reading reviews on Panjiba.com...but for real, I'm sure we would get on like a house on fire cause I'm cragy personable...and stuff. I mean my mom thinks so and Mr. Read told me I was over drinks last week so I'm pretty sure I got that on lock. No, I'm not being defensive, just breaking shit down. Wow, I need to lay off the crank, it makes me testy.

Have a good weekend!

http://www.pajiba.com/

Health insurance is funny!

Maybe I'm lazy, and that is why I'm posting things my friend's have sent me today...or maybe I'm a giver. You be the judge. Regardless, this shit is he-larious and mad precious. Cause preciousness should be mad and therefore gangsta.

http://www.people.virginia.edu/~rof2p/InjuredBad.mov

I have watched this thing about 587 times already and it don't get old...damn, I'm going to watch it again.

PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!

I will be indebted for along time to my dear friend Ryan Ingrasin for sending this...you are rad.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=23

Quote of the day

In the October 20th issue of Rolling Stone they have an article in there about a teenager by the name of Nate Norman who was running a $38 million dollar pot ring. Okay, besides that being riveting on it's own there are some tidbits in the article that had me locked. But chulren, I had to share this... this pure, unmitigated piece of genius. Below is a quote from a stripper by the name of "Buffy" that was dating the former dork turned wanna be rapper drug "kingpin" before he got busted. Check it:

'Later that summer, Nate broke both of his arms in a dirt-bike accident and moved in with Buffy. "That was a bad time, " she recalls. "Nate's arms were in casts. I was recovering from my surgery." She fluffs her breasts as a visual aid. (Here comes the good part!) "And my cat Titty Bar Bob had broken his back, and he got addicted to these painkillers. He'd crawl up the sides of the wall to get to them. It was a weird summer."'

Hands down, that is the best name for a pet EVER. Hillbilly strippers are funny and really know how to weave a tale.

Warriors...come out and playyyyyyyyyyyy! Again.

It is on.

The Warriors Halloween party @ Supreme Trading in the Burg is back again this year and it shall be awesome.

Last year we went as a dance-off troupe called "Straight Street", this year we are getting political on your ass and going as the Symbionese Liberation Army. What you know about that?

Yeah, this shit is going to be tuff...try not to be scurred.

The party info:
http://www.buzznex.com/warriorshalloween

Pics from last year
http://www.warriorshalloween.com/

The knowledge being dropped:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symbionese_Liberation_Army

Jon Brion: I just want to give him a hug

Many times on this here blog I have yammered on and on about how grand Mr. Brion is. You know: great producer, musician, snazzy dresser. The usual.

Well as of today I can say what a swell guy he is in person!

See Mr. Read's friend Chris (a swell guy too I might add) is the Executive Producer of Soundcheck on WNYC and Jon Brion was a guest on the show. Resulting in that he was kind enough to invite us to check him out on the show, in addition to this amazing Norwegian performer/lawyer/activist...but that is for another post, trust me, the brother deserves it.

So let me cut off the fat...

We went, listened to him wax poetic about his music, others and just be damn amusing. Swoon. At the end of his session he came into the control room where we all were to watch the Norwegian dude and he even laughed at something I said. Yer heard me, he LAUGHED AT SOMETHING I SAID...and it was a good laugh.

Moral of the story is this: I got to introduce myself to him, he was kind and endearing and I'm going to see him tonight at the Canal Room with my dear Jason Black, cause tomorrow is Black-ay's b'day. All in all, today was a good day.

Oh, except for all the effin' rain in this damn city. Before Jon Brion I was on suicide watch. See, that man does so much good for the world! I'm now not going to cut my throat, cause if I had done that then you wouldn't be able to read this blog, and I know that makes your day. Shit, all of us fuckers win.

Man, I love a good drug related homicide

Straight gangsta. Someone was NOT fucking aroung here.

TIJUANA, Mexico (Reuters) - A motorcyclist with a helmet-wearing corpse strapped to his back crashed in this Mexican city on the U.S. border on Friday and fled on foot, setting off a police murder hunt.
The unidentified driver was trying to ride with the body through the center of Tijuana, south of San Diego, California., when he lost control rounding a curve.
He fled the scene, leaving the dead passenger on the curb. Police said the corpse, which had head injuries and bore strangulation marks, had died at least six hours earlier.
"When the police arrived they took the helmet off the corpse, believing at first that he had died in the crash," said Francisco Castro, a spokesman for the Baja California state police's homicide division.
"But he had adhesive tape stuck to his face, a knife wound to his forehead, and showed signs of strangulation," he added.
Castro said the dead man had wraps of methamphetamine in his pocket and an unkempt appearance, which led investigators to believe the killing was drug related.
"We think the killer was trying to take the body to a more deserted area to dispose of it," he said.

Racism is just precious!

Do you think it is wrong to want to drown two 13 year old girls? Read the article and get back to me. I'm thinking there is a loophole around what I'm working out in my head.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1231684&page=1

When Tragic Mulattos Attack

Seriously, The Superficial website is NEVER not funny...and oh so true. Check it...

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/10/19/heidi_klum_has_an_ugly_baby.html

Aspiring models...they know how to bring it

Tonight's "America's Next Top Model" was on FIRE! I can't even wait to write about it tomorrow I just need to relive the magic right here.

It got nastier and cattier than it has before and my ass was bathing in it. Queue the music, "Y'all ready for this?!" Ima have to bulletpoint this shit cause paragraphs will not resonate.

*The trannie, aka Coryn, pretty much calls Lisa an alcoholic bitch and is like I don't like you, shut the eff up, I will cut you from pussy to asshole. Okay, she didn't say the last part but you know how ruff trannies are, I'm sure she was thinking it. That and "Dang, my balls are itching, I wonder how much longer I can tuck my shit and have these bitches not notice."

Cut to...

*Lisa takes this shit to heart drinks herself into a fit, and Bre, being the good bitch she is, goes outside where Lisa is alone talking to a bush, yeah, I said it, and brings her inside. This turns into Lisa drunk dialing her boyfriend and breaking down how alone and sad she feels and she is breaking...and trick breaks. She starts to hyperventilate and it is not cute. See, this is the first time she has felt hated and honeychile, it is not a good feeling. She gets to that hot mess level where you have to be brought a roll of toliet paper to sop up all the tears and snot cause you know that a few sheets of Kleenex ain't gunna cut it. I don't care what all the rest of the girls say I like Lisa...she knows her shit and she takes good pictures. Don't get it twisted! (In loving memory of Ebony)

This leads to...

*For tonight's challenge they have to do three things in a row: A commercial for deodorant, a still for the product and an interview to pimp the product. Well let me tell you this...Lisa bounces back from adversity and KILLS IT. Like shot in the fact with a sawed off killed it. She's cute, sassy and turns it out. Bitches, watch your back...she wants to win and your Heathers like behavior will not work that easily. I'm not happy until their is an attempted murder on the show.

*During the commercial part of the challenge the girls are supposed to add their own line at the end and apparently Nik and Jayla have the same ending...and Nik thinks Jayla heard her rehearsing it and stole the line. Well that is that for Nik...Jayla does hers, pretty well, I might add and then Nik goes out and loses her composure. Lord, that is my girl and my heart fell when she fucked up, but them the breaks. Gurl, you got to rock a lil' Lisa and don't let a little backstabbing get in your way.

*All said and done Jayla gets the cold shoulder from Nik and she is like silly ho, tricks are for kids and now hates her. Just like that, I mean I thought they were cool before, but now she hates her. Well Jayla turns into Sybil and is like, "She's got no personality, I want her off the show, and I will do anything in my power to make it happen!!!!" Or something like that, but let me tell you, I'm not overstating the force of the exclamation points...it was that extra. The crazy bitch was spitting fire. For real, it's them sweet one's you need to watch cause they will choke you out in your sleep. Trust me, I've done it myself.

On to Tyra and the rest of the dream makers...

*The judges LOVED Lisa but when it came down to the judges breaking shit down Nigel was like everything she did was great but I can't stand her. Baby, someone is trying to fill some Janice shoes and I don't know if I like it. See, having a hot/straight man being mean to late teen/early 20 something women is just creepy. Oh, but he's really hot so I'm not that mad.

*Elimination times comes and last two girls standing are Nik and the Coryn...and the other girls are like snap...except for Jayla, they cut to that she-devil and she is practically dancing a jig seeing light skinned Nik up there. Now even though Nik effed it up this week you know the judges couldn't keep the chick with the dick...so ta ta trannie! The girls all gathered around her and did the we are going to miss you hug knowing they are kinda sad she was leaving cause if they weeded out the rest and the dude stayed they could totally win at the end. But alas, got to compete with other Vag...what a bummer!

Moral of the story...I totally sucks if you didn't tonight's episode because I was fixated. This is a real competition people...I love this GAME!

That Blossom has ALWAYS been a show-off

Take that Jenna Von Oy...

"Blossom" Baby in Bloom

Blossom has blossomed indeed.
All grown up former child star Mayim Bialik has given birth to a baby boy, her publicist confirmed to E! Thursday.
The child, born Tuesday in Los Angeles, is the first for Bialik and husband Michael Stone. Her rep would not divulge the name or vital statistics of the newborn, but did say both baby and mom are doing "fine."
Until recent appearances on Showtime's Fat Actress and HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm, Bialik, now 29, had been keeping a relatively low profile in Hollywood since the demise of Blossom a decade ago, focusing instead on her education--and what she described to People magazine as a "rebellious phase."

Of course, "rebellious" is all relative. Bialik made those comments just before she graduated from UCLA in 2000; she subsequently went on to pursue a Ph.D. in neuroscience, where she met Stone, a fellow student.
Bialik's breakout role came as a young Bette Midler in the 1988 film Beaches. She followed that up with guest stints on The Facts of Life, Murphy Brown, MacGyver, Empty Nest and Doogie Howser, M.D. before landing what became her best known role as the spunky, wisecracking teen Blossom on the 1991-95 NBC sitcom that costarred Joey Lawrence and Jenna von Oy.

Aside from a recurring role on The John Larroquette Show, Bialik spent the rest of the decade mostly doing voiceover work for such shows as Hey Arnold!, Recess, The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest and more recently, Kim Possible.
Bialik upped her profile in March by cameoing as herself in two episodes of Fat Actress opposite Kirstie Alley. Two weeks ago, she appeared on Curb Your Enthusiasm, playing Jodi Funkhouser, a lesbian who briefly becomes straight and then becomes gay again--all due to Larry David's meddling.

Beck: Making hipsters happy from coast to coast

A few weeks ago (yes, I'm slacking, I know) me and my girl Yanna went to see Beck at the Hammerstein and let me tell you...he made me...and the throng of other 30 plus year old kids just glow with delight...early bird special, wut?!

Now all you need to do to make me thrilled is have a lanky man in a short-sleeve button up with a tie come out and play the tambourine while breaking it down You Got Served stylee. The dude in question that did it in this forum was named Brian, and Brian had me at his first lock and pop. It stopped being about Beck immediately and I was a Bri-Bri disciple. Not only did he booty clap his way into my heart but rocked the keys and percussion. He.killed.it.

The other highlight was when Beck did a throng of them sad ass songs from Sea Change (I'm not scurred to say it, I DID NOT like that album) all acoustic stylee...and here comes the highlight part...while a dinner table was set up on the stage so the band could sit and eat while he got self-indulgent. I mean come on...how bad ass is that?! Um, uber-bad ass is what it was. It got real gully when he busted into "Clap Hands", the phunkiest track on that album, with just his guetar and the band, while at the table, backed him up by "playing" the glasses, cups and plates. Did I work out some graphy? Yes, yes I did.

Here are some other highlights:

*Old dude did a ton of songs from Guero...thank you!
*He had a "DJ" that "spun" images from DVD's that were projected on a screen behind him. Technology is a trip y'all.
*The band was tight. Kids, take lessons.
*My seats were in the mezzanine. I live for that shit.
*The show, with encore, ended at 10:38...that is the new late night.

Lowlights...cause I would like to live a fair and balanced life:
*In between song lull was not cute. Dude, this ain't your first tour.
*Tall people felt the need to stand 80% of the time in front of me. We have seats jokers, use them.
*Beck is a Scientologist. That makes my fingers feel tight and swollen. If you knew me you would know I hate that feeling cause it effs up my jewerly selection.

Besides that...pretty awes.

Gangsta pic of the day

Check it...

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/14/books/14nobe.html?th&emc=th

Um, no really, even God thinks you are bat shit insane

http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/parenting/10/12/sixteen.kids.ap/index.html*

At least we know this one family can repopulate the Aryan race if it comes to that...cause you know my black ass was sweating that HARD.

*Thanks to Ms. Tanya Mancini for bringing this to my attention...you always keep it gully trick.

Jessica Leigh Brown: She cracks me up

So I was telling my pal Jess how the concept of bringing up killing a hobo* in regular conversation is he-larious and she said that that is the new "killing a hooker". Sorry if you don't get it but seriously, that is pure comedy. JB, love that girl.

*Hobo=Old skool. Google it.

Okay, this little scam has gone TOO far now

In the immortal words of James St. James on America's Next Top Model, "Um, ewwww"....

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes expecting a baby

Associated Press

NEW YORK — Let the couch-jumping begin: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting a baby.
Holmes' pregnancy was reported Wednesday by People magazine. The couple have been dating since April and became engaged in June.
"Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited," Lee Anne Devette, Cruise's spokeswoman, told People.
It would be Holmes' first child. Cruise has two children, Connor, 10, and Isabella, 12, from his marriage to Nicole Kidman.
No further details were available. Devette added that Holmes, 26, "has never felt better."
Cruise, 43, is now shooting Mission: Impossible 3.

Music I'm enjoying...cause I know you really, really care

Let's just cut to the chase...

*Bettye Lavette is it. She is one of those delights where you are pissed you were not hip to her before. Her new album of covers, I've Got My Own Hell to Raise, makes me want to run out and have people listen to it on my IPOD. Why? Because I'm a giver. Don't get me started on how sexy and strong the track "Joy" is because I will go on for days about it. Lady Ms. Lavette is an amazing old school soul singer from the 60's that needs her recognition and she needs it now...and her producer/supporter, the musician Joe Henry, is doing his best to make sure she gets it.

Ms. Lavette covers artists ranging from Lucinda Williams ("Joy") to Aimee Mann ("How Am I Different") to Fiona Apple ("Sleep to Dream") and hell, all of these songs belong to her when the day is done. I have to say that I was longing for Fiona's version of "Sleep to Dream" but she had me at the before mentioned "Joy". The song that had me race out and get the album was "Just Say So" and let me warn you now: Prepare yourself if you are in a vulnerable state when you hear it because this is one of the sweetest, saddest heartbreak songs ever. I had to take a moment and tell myself not to get worked up because this was not my life here it was JUST a song.

Moral of the story, Bettye can mess you up...and I mean that in the best way.

http://www.bettyelavette.com/
http://www.anti.com/home.php

To my next obsession...

*Feist-Let it Die-I'm just going to say it now...the WHOLE album is just the thing for a lazy brunch day...maybe it's sunny or maybe there is a little misting going on outside. Hell, start a fire and listen to it while sipping some cocoa with some Frangelico in it...this is that album. It's whimsical, it's wise, it's just wonderful! Don't roll your eyes, when I can work in some choice alliteration I will. It's that kind of world I have created for myself.

Half of the album is written by Ms. Leslie Feist but the second half are covers...and can she work a Bee Gees song ("Inside and Out"). Whether it's her work or the work she is interpreting it all has that hushed and sexy undertone to it. It's not forced or contrived, it works beautifully with each one. The title track, "Let it Die", is a subtle love loss song that has just the right amount of vibes and crack of the voice that your feelings are hurt--but you don't quite want to drag a knife across the wrist. All is forgiven when the seductive "Leisure Suite" comes on (a song that would make Serge Gainsbourg proud, sans the French) and all is right with the damn world.

This Parisian based lass knows her way around the drama of romance and she bring it to the table on this album. It's the perfect soundtrack for trying to bring your inner thinking man's/woman's sex symbol out. And seriously, don't we all need that folks?

http://www.listentofeist.com/SITE/default.asp

Netflix...back in my life

Since I've been freebasing my DVR lately I have neglected the wonders of the Netflix, but now I'm back and I would like to heap praise on a few choice titles. Be prepared to check it:

*End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones. Let me put this forth, I'm not a Ramones fan, not gunna front. Never have been, probably never will be. I won't be rocking a Ramones baby-tee from the Urban Outfitters, don't worry I shall not be that person. I will say though I got mad respect for what they did and paved the way for and shit, Joey seemed like a cool guy. I do heart my Jewish brethren...challah back! That out of the way, this is a really thoughtful AND thorough doc on the making and breaking of a band. You don't have to care about them to enjoy this flick, all you need to care about is music, and some simple and good documentary filmmaking. It's a nice look.

*Network. Yes, yes. I was a Journalism major at NY rob U blind. And yes, I'm doing the work of the Lord by being in television. That is why I'm doubly sad that it has taken me until 200andthe5 to see this film. That is what I said film...not a movie...it was a FILM. Man, Sidney Lumet and Paddy Chayefsky killed it with this one. Basically this film came out almost 30 plus years ago and spoke about the demise of the television, particularly, news and what those behind the scenes are willing to do to getting ratings. Back then it might have seemed far-fetched, watching it now, shit is not fair off the mark. Um yeah, they were psychic in the 70's.

On a non Netflix flick kick I watched Lackawanna Blues last night on the HBO2. Seriously, touching as hell multi-character based movie about a young man that was raised by a gem of a woman that took in all these wayward fools when no one else would...oh and she was fierce and threw great parties. That is always a plus with a parental figure. Besides dipping it low and whatnot it was just a great teleplay and I got all chocked up in the end. Why? Cause I'm a big old pussoir.

Do yourself a favor, have some me time and watch these joints. Carry on.

Quote of the goddamn day

"Someone threw a midget at us once. I actually stopped playing and went, 'This is amazing.'" -- QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE's JOSH HOMME

Moment of silence for the Nips

Now I have to find another amusing and obscure person to reference at random times...shit. Break on through to the other side my brother.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/03/AR2005100301733.html

Extras: Good Stuff

So along with loving my DVR I am thoroughly enraptured with HBO on Demand...you know that thing that jacks my cable bill up to about $5K a month. That aside I watched the first episode of "Extras", the new Ricky Gervais show and this stuff is he.lar.ious! Let me break down what the premise it, thoughts on his other show "The Office" and my overall vibe. M'kay, check it.

It's quite simple...it's about extras working in England and they get A-list celebs to play themselves and interact with the said "extras". Now I tried, please believe me, tried to get into
"The Office" but for real...not my bag. Not my shoe or pantaloons either, ya dig? Anyway this show kills it. I enjoy bulletpoints so I'm going to explain the magic that way:

*Ricky's charter and a gal pal of his sit around talking about how she can talk dirty to her boyfriend on the phone. The Rickster is deliciously sarcastic.

*The always wonderful Kate Winslet, who plays a nun doing a holocaust flick, overhears this convo and gives the lass tips on how to talk dirty. Just image KW saying, "Start off with something playful and then you can get hardcore." Since "Heavenly Creatures" I have been on her junk.

*The introduction of a character that has cerebal palsy...like for real...not acting...that people think might be drunk or mental. They also have to ask her to repeat herself cause they can't make out what she is saying. That is real life, and real life can be really wrong and sack out funny too.

*Ricky lying about being Catholic to try and hook up with a nun extra...and to give the girl with the CP (her sister) hope after she asks him if he believes in God after she has given this "touching" concept on heaven and her thoughts on it. Oh yeah, he is mad atheist.

*KW getting caught pantomiming licking her own breast while making fun of the boyfriend that likes the dirty talk.

And the piece de resistance...

*When the KW tells the extra that the only reason she is doing a holocaust flick is to get an Oscar cause that is a lock and everyone wonders after four noms how she ain't got a golden man. Oh, and she busts out, "Like we need another holocaust movie...I mean, it was grim, we got it."

I love that trick.

Watch "Extras"...it rulz.

Color me Calexico

It took me ages to jump on the Calexico bandwagon, but I would like to say right now that I'm glad that I'm there...it's a good feeling.

That being said I really must discuss why I listen to their EP Convict Pool EVERYSINGLEDAY. It's just, how do you say it, um, perfect. Yes, I know it, people like to throw the word perfect around but trust me, I'm not trying to lie to you about it here...I'm not on the payroll, just trying to spread the gospel.

My version of perfect is me being upset that I don't have ENOUGH music for one sitting, that I want to play it a few times again, and that is the case here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an EP, it's supposed to be short, that still doesn't make me feel good. My second version of perfect involves using guest vocalist Nicolai Dunger on your first track ("Alone Again Or"). His voice is sublime, yep, I said it, and they could have stopped right there and made me happy but they didn't. See the moment when I knew when Convict Pool had me at hola was when I was in a rental car with my mother as we were driving from El Paso, Texas to Marfa, Texas (with my head sticking out of the window like a suffocating puppy) and I thought, "Man, this is just right for driving across the plains and being happy for just existing, for whatever that is worth." Yes, I just had a tender moment, forgive me. That is what fresh air can do to you...or being near the Mexican border and feeling festive listening to the track "Corona". Seriously, get yourself some guac, chips and a pinata and tell me this is not the band for you. The vibe of this EP just makes you think things are good and that is pretty reassuring. Oh, oh, oh and they use an accordian on one track ("Praskovia")...I cannot begin to tell you how perfect that is.

So enjoy the cultural melange of the Calexico...you'll thank me for it one day.