Man, I love me some Kelly Clarkson

See, this would be the time for me to write about 10,000 words on how BAD the VMA's were last night but I'm not.

I could start talking about how "Diddy's" ego is the size of Star Jones' former ass. Or how bat shit insane R. Kelly is with his "opus" about cheating, gay love, and gun play. Maybe I could try to give some insight on why there were a million and a half cutaways to angry looking celebs in the audience (which was quite amusing, fools looked like they were smelling bad air, and that always makes me giggle)...but I shant not.

What I'm here to talk about is my girl Kelly Clarkson.

I could give two shits about "American Idol" and all that hoopla but lord knows I love a lil' white girl that has a squat little body and a personality the size of the Pacific Northwest (Tacoma in the hizzie!) that can sang. I love me some "Since U Been Gone" and that girl killed it last night...not even trying to be cute here. That song is the PERFECT pop song. Anyone that wants to try to take me to the mat on that one can shut the fuck up. I'm not listening to you. You are wrong. I am right. Pure perfection.

She came on that stage owning it and rocked out like Pat Benatar in her golden years...uh huh, that is rad. The young lass was stomping out barefooted shaking her ghetto booty and rocking that mic stand like Axl Rose circa 1989...yeah, I was scurred of her. The best part was when she got on this podium in the middle of streaming water--got her ass wet like a rat with her make-up just bout to run down her face--and then falls off the podium, gets the muck back up there and took it to church. Bitch.better.work.

Moral of the story, I love her and I love a perfect pop song. Miss Kelly...you do you honey, you do you.

Hey, while I'm on this kick check out indie darling Ted Leo's lovely and non-ironic cover of said jam...he even throws in a lil' Yeah, Yeah, Yeah's "Map"...this is a jam.
http://junk.haughey.com/tedleo-sinceubeengone.mp3

And if you kids like some background on your pop here is the breakdown of the magic of "Since U Been Gone":
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Since_U_Been_Gone

Moment of respectful silence please

Actor Brock Peters Dies at 78

Actor Brock Peters, best known for his role as Tom Robinson, a black man falsely accused of rape in the classic film To Kill a Mockingbird, died Tuesday in Los Angeles of pancreatic cancer; he was 78. According to reports, he had been diagnosed with the disease in January and had been receiving chemotherapy treatments, and the actor passed away at his home surrounded by family. An actor with a distinctive, authoritarian baritone who worked extensively in films, television and on the stage, Peters made his film debut in the lush melodrama Carmen Jones, an re-imagining of Bizet's Carmen starring Dorothy Dandridge, and appeared five years later in another musical adaptation, Porgy and Bess. In 1962, Peters took the role of Tom Robinson in To Kill a Mockingbird, and during filming was befriended by star Gregory Peck; in fact, Peters read the eulogy at Peck's funeral in 2003. His magnetic and heartbreaking performance in Mockingbird led to roles in The L-Shaped Room and The Pawnbroker, and though he rarely achieved leading man status, Peters worked steadily throughout the 60s, 70s, and 80s in both movies and TV, and received a Tony nomination in 1973 for Lost in the Stars. He appeared in thrillers Soylent Green and Two-Minute Warning, miniseries Roots: The Next Generation, and innumerable guest spots on television series ranging from Gunsmoke to The Bionic Woman. To a later generation of fans, Peters was known for two different Star Trek roles, playing Admiral Cartwright in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home and Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country as well as a recurring role on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine as Joseph Sisko, the father of star Avery Brooks' character. In 1991, Peters received a lifetime achievement award from the Screen Actors Guild. Peters is survived by his longtime companion Marilyn Darby and a daughter from his first marriage.

To Kill a Mockingbird was and continues to be IT. No need to discuss.

What a musical delight

Just real quick: Got the latest...And You Will Know Us From the Trail of the Dead album ages ago, like when it came out...or when I got a promo copy, whatever...semantics.

Anyway, I liked it and stuff, but goddamn if that shit is not blowing my skirt up now. Sweet baby Jessica in a well...if you don't have it get it. EPFUCKINGIC! "The Best" is a GREAT song, GREAT I say. Why it took me like 5 months to feel the magic I don't know. But Lord, thank you for letting me see the light.

That's all. I would marry the album if I could.

Oh and here are three other albums I'm enjoying:

Kinski-Alpine Static
http://www.kinski.net/
This shit is BIG...just listen, I'm not going to try and break it down.

Black Mountain
http://www.jagjaguwar.com/
I don't even know how to explain their sound...um, since I'm on the big tip...hows about BIG shoe gazing rawk? Regardless, not sure how they are opening for Coldplay but more power to em.

The Six Feet Under Soundtrack
http://www.astralwerks.com/
All that needs to be said is that Irma Thomas' version of "Time is on My Side" KILLS it like a clubbed baby seal.

Oh, and get your visual on and check out the video for West Indian Girl's "What Are You Afraid Of?"...man, I STILL love this song:
http://www.astralwerks.com/

Enjoy!

Trapeze sucka, trapeze!

Let me get this out of the way...I didn't take a trapeze class cause I saw the shit on "Sex in the City". First off, I don't care about the sex lives of white women so I never was down with the show and only saw the episode in which old girl does the 'peze by accident. That being thrown out there I went cause I thought it would be fun and cause my pal Jason Black did it ages ago and what he's down with I'm down with. Yes kids, I too can be follower, but I like to do it in a fun and sophisticated manner. Let me clear my throat...

On the morning of Sunday, August 14th...the morning after seeing Mr. Read get his rock star on with his band Kinopalatsi at the Continental and up staying up till 4 in the am watching VH1 Classics, cause we're gangsta that way (and stupid)...I rolled my sorry ass out of bed at 9:15 and met the Black all the way on the westside to fly through the air. Yippfuckingee!

I'm not going to lie, the minute I saw the abs on one of the very petite instructors I was completely intimidated, and when she told me that I need to listen cause I totally was trying to do stuff I had no idea about, yep I was shut the hell down. Oh well, humble is the new black.

Any which way let me cut to the chase...

It was Jason, dear Nancy and her boo Jon and I that took the class and we befriended this really cool gal, Lesley, who was visiting from San Fran and decided to take the class by herself. We love that go get em attitude, yes we do. And you need that attitude when they tell you what they want to do about 5 million feet above the ground (yes, there is a net, but come on, it's still a trip). So when you walk up this rickety ass ladder (with your harness, forgot to mention that part), that gave me mad vertigo son, you are then latched on to some other device and then they hold on to you as you reach for the bar and get ready to swing out. Um yeah, I was FREAKED out. At that moment I was like, let's see, maybe I'm scared of heights and this is not a smart idea. Well yer supposed to swing out AND then when they tell you to kick your knees up AND then fling your legs over the bar AND swing with no hands THEN put your hands back up, unlatch your legs AND then do a backflip into the net. Yeah, last time I checked I wasn't Dominique Dawes. And also my ass doesn't do well with multitasking while flying through the atmosphere. Call me developmentally disabled. I'm cool with that.


So let's assume that I was not able to do this the first time I was up there, or the second time I was there, I felt like I was showing the other kids what NOT to do. But on my third try I was able to do the knee hang (that is what us "pros" call it) and it was awesome! And I did it two more times! Jason, Nancy and Jon all got it on the first time but they were down below cheering me on when I FINALLY was able to not look like a total embarrassment and that warmed my little heart. Oh lord, I'm touched. This is when I have to give a shout out to my new friend Lesley for also fucking up on the first time too...to hell with showoffs...cut em right between the 3rd and 4th ribs. Argh, I said it ARGH!

Manny the Argentine instructor was foxy but he was kinda short with me at first but after my triumphant return I felt like I was cool with the foreigner. The other two instructors were coo and we had some rad heads in the class. Don't get me started on the boy wonder Carl who was a diver and tumbler and did EVERYTHING perfectly, like the instructors looked like they wanted to hire him on the spot...dude was a good guy despite being "perfect". Those fancy gays...love em. The whole thing was just so much fun. It was like summer camp, if you flew through the air for 2 hours and then went to eat at Bubby's for lunch after and then got on a subway with heatstroke and the impending feeling of death. But yeah, just like camp. I had a blast!

Moral of the story, I'm going to put on those unflattering yoga pants one more time next month and dammit I will hang from that bar and this time have someone catch me on the other side because yes, I do have the heart of a champion.

Click, click, click!

Why didn't anyone tell me this?!

I like to think that I can be quite in the know but why did I have to be flipping through one of the many Rolling Stone mags that have been stacking up in my apartment (along with about 1,987 other perodicals that I MUST get through this weekend) and read about this...?

Um, Jon Brion co-executive produced the new Kanye West album. Color that bizarre. I don't care if both of them have Rick Rubin as a mutual friend that is still kinda weird. But shit, we are the world. God bless em.

On that note I'm glad to be able to write that the LONG awaited Fiona Apple album is FINALLY coming out. Mind you, it ain't the one that Jon Brion produced (trick, you got a lot of explaining to do). Regardless, I'm not that mad...I love that cragy ass gal. Oh yeah, and the new producer for her album is a dude by the name of Mike Elizondo, and he worked with Dr. Dre.

I guess Jon and Fiona loved the coloreds. See ya at the next family reunion.


http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/_/id/7513389/kanyewest?pageid=rs.News&pageregion=double1

http://www.fiona-apple.com/

Since I've had a little time to come to terms...

Anyone that knows me knows that Peter Jennings was my man...come on now...he didn't even get past the 9th grade and just outsmarted 99.9% of the jokers in the news world--so it was hard for me to come to terms with him passing. That being said watching ABC News' 2 hour tribute put some shit in perspective and took a little weight off my heart. Now I want to share a few things:

1) Peter Jennings was a gangsta...done. Dude believed in what he did.
2) PJ was a babe in his young days and had that older handsome man thing locked.
3) To all my loved one's out there that smoke...quit that shit...the black lung is not a good look.

Seriously, I can't even come up with something witty to say...this is just THAT good

Jason Black...you are pure genius for bringing this to my attention...ladies and gentlemen...this is why you blog...certain things need to be brought to light.

August 9, 2005 -- RACHEL Hunter was escorted out of a VIP room at the Oakley/Blender X-Games party at the Key Club in Hollywood the other night after she was caught eating the spicy chicken wings set aside for rap duo the Ying Yang Twins, the night's special performers. Club staffers who went backstage to check that the group's catering demands had been met found Rod Stewart's sexy ex and four girlfriends helping themselves to the Twins' wings and booze. After an indignant Hunter and her posse were shooed away, the club placed an emergency order for more "spicy chicken wings" before the rappers finished their set.

Sometimes a bitch and her crew needs wings. Just ask Oaktown 3.5.7 about it. End.of.damn.story.

Goddammit! Is nothing sacred?!

Eddie Murphy & His Wife Split

Eddie Murphy and Nicole Murphy
Comedian Eddie Murphy and his wife, Nicole, are splitting up. On Friday, Nicole, a 37-year-old former model, filed for divorce from the Nutty Professor and Shrek star in Los Angeles after 12 years of marriage, PEOPLE has confirmed. "The welfare of our children is our main concern and their best interest is our first priority," Murphy, 44, said in a statement issued by his rep, Paul Bloch. The pair have five kids. Their youngest daughter, Bella Zahra, is 3 years old. Their eldest, Bria, is 15. The couple met in 1988 and wed in 1993. Nicole is asking for custody of the kids and is seeking spousal support. Murphy, who began doing stand-up comedy at age 15, became the youngest comedian ever hired by Saturday Night Live at age 19. In the 1980s, he starred in series of hit films such as 48 Hours and Beverly Hills Cop. Later his career hit a lull, but he shot back into the limelight with several family films including Dr. Dolittle, The Adventures of Pluto Nash and Shrek.

I'm telling you, it wasn't getting caught giving a transsexual "a ride home" years ago that threw old girl over the edge, it was that Pluto Nash movie. A woman has her breaking point. But let's reflect for a moment...Beverly Hills Cop was the bomb movie. Dude was it...I hope she can keep that memory in her heart.

Some things I want to share

It's real late and and I want to share with you lovely folks but I'm not in the mood to create real paragraphs so I'm going to break some shit down bulletpoint stylee. I hear that is how real playas roll, and you know that is all I strive to be. A real playa, oh, and to meet Patti Labelle one day. You got to dream if you are to live day to day. On that note here we go:

1) I never broke down my trip to Montreal with Mr. Read for you all. It was cool. The train ride ended up being 12 hours long but it wasn't that bad...we watched more Chappelle Show than you can shake a stick at. I really believe that is a fundamental part of fostering a good relationship. I'm sure Dr. Phil would tell your trick asses that.

2) I finally bought a bass amp! Yippee...Ima bout to get gully up in this bitch. Not sure if it is the the finest of all amps but it's a starter one and the dude that sold it to me, Curly, was a nice guy, and more importantly, it tooks cute, and that is all we really care about.

3) Last week's US Weekly JUST got to my apartment on Thursday...after the new one had been on the newsstand for two days. I will take a hostage, I don't give a fuck.

4) My nighttime reading is Whores: The Oral History of Perry Farrell and Jane's Addiction by Brendan Mullen. It's swell...Eric Avery, cool...the thought of what Dave Navarro has become makes me sad. Stephen Perkins seems like the the most sunshiney person ever and Perry...well he was always a nut, god bless the brother.

5) My friend Anthony and his girl Christina just got the cutest Yorkiepoo ever...and I'm the godmother. His name is Drama and I want to squeeze the life out of him he is that adorable. I now really want a dog and I want to name him either Luis Guzman or Darkness...cause I can and I think that dogs should have a Latin lineage or have the nickname that Rick James has put upon Charlie Murphy.

I'm bout to fall out. Evening y'all.

1990 was a good year

Okay, in actuality it wasn't THAT dope for me cause I had a "Wave Nouveau" perm, braces and glasses...um, yeah, sex on a platter...but besides that shit was alright. Why? Well cause that was the year that Jane's Addiction's Ritual de lo Habitual came out, an album that I have raved about many a time on the lil' blog here (there is no reason for me to go off on how grand Eric Avery is AGAIN) but also that's when the Happy Mondays' Pills 'N' Thrills and Bellyaches came out...an album I JUST bought on CD (back off, I had that shit on cassette back in the day) when I was last in LA.

I just wanted to remind all you kids out that there that this was the album with "Step On" on it. Yeah, I'm home right now, chilling with my jammers on, listening to this track for the 5th time in a row. Some would call it obsessive, I call it a tribute. Don't judge me...it makes you look fat.

To break it down...Manchester, they had a scene. Shaun Ryder was doing cracked out-crazy ass white man while Pete Doherty of the Libertines was still on his mama's teet....dude, was a legend. The homegirl that was doing the backing vocals on "Step On", Rowetta, killed it.

Getting nostalgic for a time not so long ago really does warm my heart.