I love crazy

I'm not going to waste your time here...

http://www.askmen.com/video/2004_nov/nov29_price_right.html

Bass! How low can you go?

So I'm home cold lampin' it and whatnot and I decided to put on Public Enemy's It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back...damn, my feelings are hurt! I have not listened to this album in ages but the minute I put it on it reminded me of being 14 years old with my black ass listening to college radio in...very pale...Santa Cruz and getting my enlightenment on.

I mean hell, my family is from the DEEP, DEEP get a rope south (Mobile, Alabama, y'all) so I knew the deal at a very early age but man, this was the album that got me wanting to learn more about Black history, the Black Panthers and hell I even thought Raiders gear was cool cause of Chuck D*.

Moral of the story, this album is IT. It needs to be revered and respected. Special shout out to the Bomb Squad**. Hands down...one of the BEST production teams in not only hip-hop/rap but in all of the musical landscape. Those gentlemen were and still ahead of the curve. Curtsy.

*Quick story: My freshman year in college a friend of mine at the time was going to interview George Clinton and a few of us went with her to the show at Tramps. So I'm 18 and I'm just chilling, just happy to have gone to a George Clinton show so we are hanging around upstairs as she is downstairs doing the interview and we are chatting with the security dude there trying to convince him we are harmless and to let us downstairs (Tony, he.is.the.shit...and now head of security at Bowery Ballroom, got the heart of goddamn champion). After about 2 hours he lets us go down to meet up with our friend and meet George Clinton. About 10 steps down who is coming up, passes me, and says, "Hello, how are you doing?" Chuck motherfucking D son! Yes, I was gobsmacked and barely could muster a "Hi". I could really give a donkey about 99.9% of the celebrity set but that just hit me right there...I idolized this man and his ideology for years and it was just the best. Lord, I need a moment.

**Just listen to "Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos" and try to step to me. Shocklee, Ryder, Sadler...brava.

Matt Lauer is a classy dude

How the FUCK Matt Lauer did not jump up and punch Tom Cruise in the throat when that punk ass bitch went at him about regarding Scientology is beyond me. Matt Lauer, you are a kind, kind man. 50 to 1 Mother Teresa would have called that mother a cunt and slapped him in the face with her rosary beads.

The last thing the public needs is a gaffawing poster child for aliens telling them that psychiatry is a sham, Ritalin should not be prescribed to people and that you can cure post partem depression with exercise and vitamins. By the way, Mr. Smarty Pants never finished high school and therefore didn't go to college but feels the need to run his mouth like an authority. Am I being elitist right now? Bet your sweet taint I am. Hey, Tom, if and when you slam your seed into Katie Holmes lets see what happens if the young lass gives birth and wants to drown the tyke and doesn't know why...good luck with L. Ron helping you with that one. I'm sure Pilates and a boost of B-Complex will make her feel supergood...yippee!

Man, Hollywood's version of humanity makes me want to kick a kitten.

Here you go...share my hatred. It's quite inviting.

http://video.msn.com/video/p.htm?i=1a0a3ed6-306d-4726-94e6-51e2d9b49c7b&m=Home%20and%20Living&mi=NBC%20Today&p=source_Today%20Show>1=6586&rf=http://verizon.msn.com/

Shit, just when you thought being the richest black woman was a lock

Racism...it's make an awesome comeback kids!

Oprah Upset by Hermes Snub and Weak Apology
Multi-media queen Oprah Winfrey isn't likely to return to any of Hermes' stores in the near future after being humiliated by store bosses in Paris, France. The luxury goods company was forced to issue an apology to Winfrey earlier this week, after the talk show host was turned away at the door of the Paris store last week, while she was shopping for a gift for pal Tina Turner. Security staff informed Winfrey that the store was closed for a public relations meeting, but the TV star's best pal and traveling companion Gayle King insists Oprah was treated badly. King says, "People were in the store and they were shopping. Oprah was at the door and she was not allowed into the store... It was one of the most humiliating moments of her life." Winfrey's pal also states that Oprah is upset by the Hermes' apology because "it implies that nothing offensive happened". Winfrey has called the president of Hermes in America, Robert Chavez, to inform him she will no longer be shopping in his stores. Oprah has also cancelled a bag she had on order from the store.

For real, I'm not on the Oprah is some god shit (yeah, that was a lowercase, I said a god...not GOD) but shit, let a bitch in. Seriously son, if it had been Julia Roberts, hell, even Doris Roberts they would have let em in. And don't try and fight me on this. Oprah makes dreams come true* if old girl wants to come into your store and drink the blood of orphaned Cambodians while shopping for silk scarves and having white women paint her toenails they so be it. That is what Oprah does.

But regardless, fuck the rich. They all need to get choked out. Oh and Hermes execs...you are so screwed. You messed with the wrong negress, the wrong one.

*Um, in case any of her producers see this I would be more than happy to be in the audience on one of those "Wildest Dreams" episode. I'm more than willing to look like a complete FUCKING LUNATIC so I can get an all expensed paid vacation for me and a loved one. My pride is quite malleable.

Um, and your point would be what?

Is it me, or does it seem that fools are tripping a touch that that my fake boyfriend, Josh Homme, got busted for laying down the law with a dude from the Dwarves for like no reason? Okay, there was a reason, I guess he poured beer on son and then smashed a bottle over his head, or something like that. I mean, shit, you come at a 6'5" red headed wall of man you best expect to get the smackdown. Fuck, I once set a Bolivian midget on fire just cause he looked at me the wrong way. I get really bad PMS. It happens, end of story.

This is how I want my (real) rock stars, full of piss and vinegar and ret to throw a punch. If you were in band called Kyuss and now front a little outfit called Queens of the Stone Age you ain't got time to talk it out. Punks jump up to get beat down.

Swoon.
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/eo/20050614/en_music_eo/16751

The poor man's Paris

It's like stupid o'clock and my ass needs to be at Penn Station in less than 5 hours to go to Montreal with Mr. Read. I plan on eating a lot of cheese, dranking some wine and being cute. It's going to be the hotness.

I need to give some props

Last night I celebrated my 30th at Shebeen and a had a good ass time. But for real, the best thing was all my heads coming out and dranking mad martinis with me...that shit warms my wee little heart (yes, it's redundant, I don't give a fuck).

My heads not only represented like do but I got some really nice gifts...and yes, I know it's not about gifts, but they are kinda rad. Don't lie, you like stuff too. Here come the shout outs:

*To my dear Mr. Read for giving me a bass geetar...I mean, for real, I was like, no fucking way. Hands down, he is the best gentleman caller. For real, real, not for play, play. Tear.

*Toni Ann, Renee and the crew for getting me a bad ass portable DVD player...holla at a girl when she is on a 10 hour train trip to Montreal as of this Sunday...this is such a good look. And it will look with my gear and that is all that matters when it comes to electronics. Oh, did I mention they also got me the "What's Happening!!" Season 2 on DVD? Don't be jealous...

*Anthony and Mike for throwing mama a digital camera...I was holding on to the old skool and they showed me a whole new world...give me a moment I just need to work out my emotions.

*My sweet Jason "Blickety" Black for giving me the HUGE coffee table book on rock posters that I have been eyeing...sigh. My man always knows what I want, without me even saying a world. It's like you never know who you will keep in touch and become family with after you get jumped out of a gang...Jason is that road dawg for life. Mi vida loca son, mi vida loca...

*Vanessa for the yummy gloss, yes, I will be rocking that tonight!

*The marvelous Jessica Leigh Brown for making my dreams at the Virgin Megastore come true...do I smell Import section? Yes I fucking do.

*Erica, Laura, Sarah and Toni Ann for each giving me beateeful jewerly. I'm going to be extra hot now.

*Ms. Liane Su, for getting her Martha Stewart on and making me a gorgeous necklace...that I rocked the minute I got...you.is.my.bitch.

*Awww, Ry Ry and Tom for just being cute in general and oh so lovable, but also for giving me a BAM Cinema Club membership...my heart is heavy y'all, my heart is mad heavy.

*Ginger and Vanessa's boo Ben, who I only met ONCE, for giving mama top shelf liquor. That is how you get to a bitch's heart...that and a good set of ribs.

I mean, there was mad love going around son!

I have to also take a moment out to give a pound to Ms. Shari Scorca for surprising the hell out of me and hitting my shindig...old girl flew in from LA to hit her friend's wedding upstate and surprised me by showing up at me b'day jam...that is some gangsta stuff...like when Tupac and Biggie used to roll stuff. Girl, I love you.

Another moment needs to go directly to the great Dennis Borowsky for leaving his new bar in QUEENS to hang with lil' mama...your commitment is heartwarming.

And Adrienne, my dear Adrienne, for taking the day off of work the next day cause she was in it to win it...even though we all left at 1am...shit, it was the thought that counts.

To everyone that showed up, were fun, cute...and bought me dranks (Latasha, Paul, Juliana, Steve, Jenny, Alisha, Ethan, Papper, Jim and a cast of many more!!!) thank you so much! I know great people, it was a great time and I got to wear a cute dress...and that is all that matters!

See ya at the next gathering!

Okay, I'm breaking my pledge

I will give $100 bucks for someone to call major bullshit on this. Yo, Nic Kidman, you know you need a few clams, girl do it! Stupidity is the new retarded...

Cruise: "I've Proposed to Holmes"
Hollywood hunk Tom Cruise proposed to Katie Holmes this morning - after a whirlwind three-month romance. The 42-year-old actor and Holmes, 26, have been plagued by accusations their romance is a publicity stunt, because both stars have movies released this month - Cruise stars in War of the Worlds, while Holmes is in Batman Begins. But Cruise put an end to the rumours today, by asking Holmes to marry him on the top of the Eiffel tower, during a romantic holiday in Paris, France. The thrilled hunk gushes, "Yes, I proposed to her. It was early this morning at the Eiffel Tower, so I haven't slept at all. Today is a magnificent day for me, I'm engaged to a magnificent woman." When asked why he chose the famous landmark, Cruise explains, "I've never been to the Eiffel Tower. It's Paris, it's a beautiful city, it's very romantic." Cruise has been celebrating his love for the former Dawson's Creek beauty during numerous public appearances, most notably on Oprah Winfrey's talk show last month. On Winfrey's programme, Cruise leaped up and down on the host's famous couch shouting "I'm in love! I'm in love!" while laughing manically. This will be the third wedding for Cruise, who divorced actresses Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman in 1990 and 2001 respectively. The wedding will be a dream-come-true for Holmes, who fantasised about marrying the superstar as a child. Holmes broke off her long engagement with American Pie funnyman Chris Klein in February and started dating Cruise two months later.

Don't believe the hype

Saw Rize last night with Mr. Read...and pretty happy I didn't pay for it.

Brief Synopsis:
David La Chappelle is shooting the "Dirrty" video like 90 years ago in LA and hears about this underground dance scene based in areas like South Central and Long Beach...it's called Clowning/Krumping. Heads get involved in this movement instead of acting a fool and joining gangs...they dance some shit out and it's pretty fierce. He grabs a camera and starts shooting it. Voila, ya got a Sundance favorite.

Okay, there you go...

I know everyone is acting like this is some life altering work here (that would be Chappelle's Show Season 3 if it ever happen....DARKNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but for real...I was sitting there and not caring as much as I wanted to.

Brother La Chappelle...let me just throw out a positive. Glad you were there to capture some thoughtful colored folks that had something to say and were not acting up but shit, was I watching an informercial or a doc? Tell me that.

The narrative was weak and so many "characters" were thrown around I lost count of who was who, where they came from and how many times I could watch the booty clap without feeling like I was in the middle of a Luke video ("Face Down, Ass Up"...classic, you better work...I just like to mention Luther Campbell whenever I can). I really wanted to love this flick and I didn't...Bums me the Fuji out. Just like I wanted to love Kicking & Screaming, the Will ferrule joint. Don't get me started on that.

Moral of the story...There is a reason you got an editor and story editor son.

You know what is putting me in a damn good mood?

The Verve Remixed 3 album. I flipped this bad boy onto the Victrola and heaven help me...try and tell me I'm not enjoying this thing.

For those of you that might not be in the know some crafty fool one day thought, "Shit, why don't I gather up some old skool tracks in the jazz, be-bop vein and have new skool remixers revamp their songs...um, that might be fresh"...and shit if it didn't work the hell out. It worked pretty swell.

This album features: Nina Simone remixed by Postal Service, Anita O'Day remixed by RSL, Astrud Gilberto* remixed by RJD2, my favorite so far, Shirley Horn remixed by Sugardaddy which is hot...among others. It's like dancey and chilled out jams rolled up into one.

Music just rulz, doesn't it?

Check it, if not, you are pretty beat. Yep, I'm not scared of you.

*For real, the song is "The Gentle Rain"...the remix makes you want to do it.

Music that I'm hearting at the moment

Here I go again:

1) "Orange Sky" by Alexi Murdoch...oh sigh...what a gloriously pretty song. Tear.
2) Jane's Addiction Ritual de lo Habitual-Yeah, I know, came out when I was like 15, and yes, I still have the cassette copy I got from Sitara...we had French class together for like 4 years son. Regardless, shit is still timeless and epic. Eric Avery, how I admire you.*
3) The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan-Seriously, I have mad hated on this band for ages, cause, I'm progressive that way, and I still think Meg is a hack which makes me want to just kick her just for shits and giggles but this new album is awes. That single is badass. Check it. Of course it's the one album that the critics are not totally jerking off over this time...their concept of aiight is my masterpiece. Hotness.
4) XTC's "You and the Clouds Will Still Be Beautiful"-Just heard this on the KEXP.org...man, what a fun, upbeat, whimsical song. If I could spoon with it while watching Chappelle season 2 on DVD I would do it, it's that good.
5) NIN- "All the Love in the World" and "Every Day is Exactly the Same"...killing it. There is not much more to say, oh and I love when Trent works out his inner Joe Jackson.

Happy listening.

*If you can get your hands on it, read the Eric Avery article in the last issue of Filter Magazine (with Josh Homme and Mars Volta on the cover) ...the man is still awesome. Perry, you fucked up buddy, you really fucked up.

I apologize

Yes, I apologize for slacking lately and not being good to you my blog viewers...work had the nerve to be work for the last couple of weeks and kept me away from you. For that curses to the place...don't worry...as Mickey Hutchence once said, nothing will tear us apart. Except maybe some kinky sex game that goes wrong, but that is neither here nor there. Here are a few things on my mind that I want to share:

*I love my DVR. It is the best thing in the world. Seriously. Because of the magic of the digital video recorder I was able to skip over 99.9% of the MTV Movie Awards and get to the part where Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams win best kiss and re-enact the magical moment. That is the hotness. Did I tell you that I cried like a clubfooted abandoned baby when I watched that movie? I did. Man RG is it. Oh, I can also watch QOTSA do "Little Sister" on SNL with Will Ferrell rocking the cowbell. It's the little things folks, it's the little things.

*Speaking of QOTSA...um, they are going to be touring with NIN in the fall. I'm not even going to try and be funny and cute about this. This is serious folks, really, I'm on the verge of tears because of how happy this makes me. Oh, sigh. My heart is heavy with anticipation.

*Doing kareoke last night for my girl Renee's b'day was the shit. We all acted a fool and carried on. Even though Toni Ann says I sound like a dude when I sing I embrace it and take it to 11. Also, you have not lived until you see my co-worker, Jeff Ahearn, do 50's "Magic Stick". Son KILLED IT. Like dead in the street you need an arraignment kind of killing. Hotness.

*I'm continuing my pledge to not to write a 90 page diatribe about the union of Katie "I'm a Virgin even though I should keep that shit to myself as the public really ain't buying it anyway" Holmes and Tom "Thank the Lord she claims that because pussy gives me a rash and I need to continue this sham as long as possible" Cruise. All I will say is this is tiresome and really insulting to my US magazine sensibilities. Don't waste my sweet and precious time. I need something I can believe in, and this is NOT it.

*The fact that the lovely Ms. Jessica Leigh Brown brought back the term "batshit insane" into my lexicon makes me really stoked. If I can bring back "Jammin on the one" into someone world I feel like I have paid it forward at that point. Only then, only then.

*Saw the Dears at the Bowery on Saturday with Mr. Read and his very awesome friends Chris and Brian. Shit was rad. Made my Saturday. Oh, that and having a bi-racial shake from a Mr. Softee van earlier in the day was also the tits. Grand music from Montreal and a delightful and frosty dairy treat is what life is all about.

*I'm 2 days away from being 30...the 20's are for bitches...bring it.

Kicking over a stool for emphasis...and thank you.

My mornings will now be cold and oh so empty

Goddamit all to hell... Bill Hemmer is no longer going to be "American Morning". CNN can eat a big fat dick. Well it gives me more time to swoon over Pat Kiernan in the morning.

Bastards.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/06/cnn.programming/index.html