Guero

That is the title of the new Beck album. This album is what the youth would call awesome. I'll carry on...

So I'm bout the Beck but I thought he lost his damn mind with that Sea Change album. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. It was a singer-songwriter, introspective record but shit, it was a bummer. I'm sure Elliot Smith (R.I.P brother) was like lighten the fuck up dammit...you are bringing me down son and Jeff Lynne told you not to do that years ago! Mind you I had just gone through a break-up when it came out and was in no mood for the melencholia of Beck. Oh, but I did manage to lose about 5lbs and was on fire after the fact. But that is neither here nor there.

The Dust Brothers are back on this gem and praise the Lord for it. These gentlemen are excellent at what they do. Moment for thunderous applause...we shall never forget you for Paul's Boutique alone! This is a fun, smart, funky, sexy, and bunch of other shit album. For real, "Clap Hands" is track number 16 and you need to go to that immediately and then start the album and listen to it from beginning to end.

So many of these tracks just make me want to put on a airy skirt, a tank, get a watermelon margarita ready and sit in someone's Brooklyn backyard and just chill. Others make me want to have a house party and take it to the floor. And some make me say, "Shit, why don't I clean the grout in the bathroom and turn this baby up to 11 cause this is some motivating get your stuff tight music." Yeah, shit is eclectic.

This is an album that deserves to be passed around from friend to friend...start the burning y'all, start it now.

Oh, yeah, in case you forgot...leaving for the Coachella in about 14 hours...holla black! Arcade Fire here I come...

Just a reminder...

...that my ass is going to Coachella in 2 days. Wut, wut, wut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It.will.be.so.on! Did you hear me? So on. Shit.

Ms. Shari Scorca, Mr. TJ Brown and Ms. Erica Forstadt and her buddy and I will be kicking it gully style in a three bedroom, three bathroom condo in lovely La Quinta, California. Yes, I really do think I'm a lady that lunches. Well not really, but the thought is really fancy and therefore alluring.

For those of you that have not been before let me paint a picture...

Two days of a sea of grown ass music fans, the desert, a polo field, mountains in the distance, palm trees and one of the best sunsets you will every see*. Goddamn, I just gave myself goosebumps. I'm so poignant.

Anyway you will have to do yourself a favor and check it out one year...you won't regret it. In the meantime I will sip cocktails after hours at the jacuzzi at our condo in your memory and fill up at the open bar parties after the festivities...yes, that is what you call a giver. Benny the XIV ain't got dick on me.

*Oh yeah, it can be hot as hell but so is NYC in the summer...at least it drops about 25 degrees after the sun goes down. Awwwwwwww...

The aftermath of a Tsunami will fuck with one's mind

http://msnbc.msn.com/ID/7600056/*

Oh...and don't deny yourself the joy...watch the video too.

Heaven help us all...

*Thanks Vanessa for bringing this into my world. Weirdo.

Erika's pick for quote of the day!

The below quote is regarding Eric Clapton's guitar playing as so profoundly written by Little Steven...musician, radio personality, thespian and doorag connoisseur:

"If the solo in "Have You Heard" isn't the sound of a cock ripping through trousers on its way to the promised land, I don't know what is."

Someone please give the man a Pulitzer or at least a pat on the back.

Thank you.

Grandpa got down son!

Saturday night Mr. Read and I went to see the legendary king of ska, Desmond Dekker and it was two-tonetastic!

I got into Mr. Dekker (ne Desmond Dacres) when I heard "Israelites" as it was played over the closing credits in Gus Van Sant's BEST film, Drugstore Cowboy*, and have been loving this man's voice and style since...dang, when was that, it was my freshman year in high school...1989. Lordy, like sand through the hourglass these ARE the days of our motherfucking lives. Alright now!

Okay, so I have never seen this man before but I'm fan and I was excited...but being excited doesn't mean some shit ain't gunna stank up the joint. With that being said...it was completely and utterly broughten son.

I knew it was going to get gully when I saw a throng of "good" skinheads looking for the coat check (yes, just cause they have less hair doesn't mean they don't get overheated too and need to drop off their "unity" gear) and skanking to the beat was going to be had. When we got into the main room of the Knit it was as packed as the Amistad and I'm pretty sure just as goddamn hot. We went up to the balcony where is was hotter than a 5 dollar Laotian's vagina but the eye line was fresh so that is where mama made her home.

Well the band comes out, the crowd trips--hype man rolls next, crowd is on point--and then BAM...63 year old Desmond Dekker comes out in a sheer black shirt (with silver flecks of course), jaunty UN peacekeeping like chapeau and leather pants and the rooms loses it's mind. I have said many a thing have been fierce on this here blog but for real...this was the.fiercest.thing.ever.

He broke into his first song and the crowd LOST it. And I'm not talking just oh this fun, glad we came out on a rainy Saturday night kind of thing, we're talking about fools that have been in the old skool ska scene for years that have been WAITING to see this man tear it up and they were not going to hold back. At this moment I have to give a few shout outs cause it really was the vibe of the room that made this one of the best shows I have seen in ages. Here we go:

1) To the crowd for being so amped it hurt my feelings. It seemed like everyone in the house knew all the words to each song. If they didn't they sure as hell pretended they did and just danced it out. The DD has to have at least 40 years on the majority of the fans and everyone of em treated him like he was a ROCK STAR...the respect level was huge...there was a lot of love y'all. A lot of love. Shit, I'm touched.

2) The kid at the front of the stage (right) with the glasses, tats and a lot of energy. You young man...the heart of a champion. He was singing along to every song, dancing, and turning to the crowd to hype them up. I was riveted. That is getting your money's worth right there.

3) The gang of "good" skinheads that were shouting out song requests and thinking they were at a soccer match...but not hurting anyone. They were just linking arms dancing together and getting their ska on. It was like a bunch of Elias Koteas's in Some Kind of Wonderful just doing what they do and hoping to bring everyone along for the ride.

4) The 17 year old looking kid that got himself on stage and put his arm around the DD...that you know his friend's photographed. That totally made his year. Precious.

It was like going to Mecca for some of these fine folks. The digital cameras were out and they were taking pics like he was...dag, I don't know, Pope Benny XIV or say, Nipsey Russell. It was that fresh! When the kids had their hands stretched out (I would make another holy reference but I believe I maxed out my quota) DD made sure to grab each and everyone. And yes, I know because I watched him do it. Like the late great ODB (aka Big Baby Jesus, aka Osiris, aka a lot of other bullshit) he does it for the kids. Head down for a moment of reflection y'all.

The finest moment of clarity happened when my man did "Israelites" and it was not just him doing it that was great but the lead up. He started the beginning of the song then stopped and went off stage and then the hype man got the crowd all worked into a frenzy for him to come back out and the hooting and hollering was damn near deafening. I have never, never, never, never heard it get extra up at the Knit like that and I have seen quite a few bad ass shows there (PJ Harvey anyone?). I was so excited I could have crushed a baby duck but luckily there were none around. I would have been bummed if that shit had happened. Cute things shouldn't die.

Moral of the story. This brother got his 40 acres and a mule from the predominately Anglo crowd** and he deserved it dammit. My man has been working hard and needs some love. Kids, it was all the way live.

*Put Drugstore Cowboy on your queue...amazing film, not movie...FILM. Matt Dillion's finest hour.

**Where are my people?! There were like 4 other Negroes at the show. Damb shame, damb shame. That is some black history folks, represent! Okay, getting off my high horse, the altitude is making me queasy.

Man...I do enjoy simians!

Fools, if you have not already done it check the new Gorillaz single, "Feel Good Inc."...shit is on fire. I'm not even going to try to break it down just rock the below link. I'm just going to keep working on my version of the booty clap while I listen to this track for the 40th time today. And 5, 6, 7, 8...roll it out, roll it out...

http://www.stereogum.com/archives/001327.html

Vatican City...are you ready RAWKKKKKK???!!!!!!!

Since I'm a Southern Baptist by dunking I could care less about the new Pope but I got to say...the revealing of old dude was gangsta!

Okay, the white/black smoke thing is completely archaic (and the racial undertones surrounding that are always beat...yeah I said it, white-good, black-bad...blah, blah, blah) but the rest was some arena rock madness. Check it...

So right after Cardinal Medina Estevez (Emilio and Charlie's uncle I'm sure) comes out and breakdowns who the next dictator...I mean, leader of the Roman Catholic Church is it got really gully. First they throw out this benedictine like throw over the balcony, close the curtains and then work the crowd into a tizzy. I swear to Pope Benedict XVI that this same shit happened in like 75 when Zeppelin was touring the States.

When the former Hitler youth came out he tore up that Pope wave and worked the Vatican like it was his job! Um, I guess it is now. Nevermind. Now I was rooting for the Brazilian (why I had a preference, don't know...I guess I just think Brazilians are hot and sassy and that is what I look for in a Pope) but Benny XIV kinda was fly in his gear and was owning that mid 80's gigantaur shoulder pad look so I wasn't mad at him.

The pomp and circumstance of the whole gala was just too fabulous. And in turn I really don't understand the lack of love the Roman Catholic Church has for their homosexual brethren because the whole thing was kinda...um, yeah, I'll say it, gay. But that is what you get when you get bunch of dudes that just hang in color formations all the time. Have you seen those purple outfits? Fierce!

In summation...the shit was badass...the Earth will probably fall off it's axis now but for a few minutes it was kinda cool. If only Benny had done a mic kick and screamed, "How you motherfuckers doing out there tonight? What about you bitches in the back? Who wants COMMUNION?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", it would have it been brought to 11. Maybe next time.

A few things I want to share

Yeah, I have been slacking kids and for that I hang my head in shame. Let me give you a rundown of thangs that have ruled lately. Here we go:

1) Going to Peter Luger's for the first time this weekend. Now I was all ready to get the single steak WELL done when two young men (they know who they are) told me that that would be a punk move. Regardless when I got there I tried to order it but the fancy old school waiter looked at me like I just fingerbanged his retarded daughter while she was in a coma so I did what he told me to do. That would be get what he said. It was awesome. Pink steak ain't that bad. Not making it a habit but I was pretty stoked.

2) Taking the bus for the first time in about 90 years. Um, going from the Bk to the Qns via the bus system is kinda fierce. The best part is looking out the window and making nasty comments about the fucks that roam around Bedford Ave. Yeah, fuck em...I said it and I will say it again. Those kids are dirty and arrogant. I totally want to stick fight them all.

3) Champagne and POM is the new black.

4) The fact that I'm going to see Duran Duran at the Garden in section 65 is like a damn elementary school dream come true. John Taylor, stage left is all that needs to be known. Erica Forstadt you RULE for hooking this the hell up ma!

5) Sam Champion for being a champion and making it 75 degrees on Sunday. Anytime someone wants to bring Spring on like that again I would really appreciate it. And this leads me to...

6)...the shout out to big black men everywhere for having little dogs! A very brotha brotha rolled into Fort Greene Park on the before mentioned glorious day with his two Yorkies and I have to say...real thugs roll with little dogs. Wut, wut! After staring at his little boos and listening to him baby talk them in his baritone I had to force myself into his life. The breakdown: Two yorkies, Brooklyn and Pockets...dude was going to get a Rottweiler but saw a pic of these cuties and there you go, Yorkie land. My man felt that if little dogs worked for Eddie Murphy in Boomerang to get the ladies it would work for him. That is hot.

7) Singing Toto's "Hold the Line" in a karoake setting. Yeah, I killed it. I will be doing that number again for those that missed it the first time.

8) The fact that Britney Spears is officially pregnant. This makes me happy because I'm pretty sure that within a year of the birth she will be found at the Piggly Wiggly in Louisiana with a baby on her hip, a cig in her mouth and will be screaming at K-Fed, "Why don't you fuck me no more Kevinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn? I own your ass and I want you to touch me down there...so what if I got Cheetoe crumbs all up in there! Come back here you faggot!" Don't doubt me, this WILL happen.
http://www.britneyspears.com

9) Sweet Jesus...the promo for this week's America's Next Top Model is one of the best things I have seen on television in ages! I don't know what went the fuck down but seeing Tyra lose her cool and scream at one of the models (who we do not see) is what you call the good stuff. Oh lord I hope someone gets their weave yanked. Take off the earrings and get the vaseline ready ladies.

10) Mr. Read for clearing about a million viruses off my puter...oh and getting my IPOD in tip top shape again. That deserves a curtsy and a pat on the ass son. Nice work.

And those are things that have been ruling. I hope you enjoyed it.

Ladies and Gentlemen...an introduction to Mr. Joshua Homme

http://exclaim.ca/index.asp?layid=22&csid1=3623

I'm totally going to have nightmares

Um, I'm going out a limb here...and strike me down if need be but...doesn't the Pope look fucking creepy?! What the...?! Seriously...He was THE POPE you would think the Vatican would have sprung for a better embalmer/make-up artist and not some dude they found in the Yellow Pages. For real...my grandparents didn't have that kind of pull and they looked WAYYYY better...kind of sophisticated and serene if I might be so bold to say. Love ya Jessie and Blaine!

Oh yeah, and for all of you in Roma waving at the man as you go into St. Peter's Basilica...um, he's dead...he's not going to wave back. Sorry you are in mourning but don't be retarded...this ain't a concert and the roadie ain't gunna let you backstage if you catch his eye so you can meet "the star". Oh, and taking a picture of the body with your camera phone is wack.
You.are.NOT.going.to.heaven.now for pulling that move.

Ick.

But you know...with all due respect and whatnot. Just making some observations. I mean, I'm Southern Baptist so we rock some shit a little differently. Mind you, when the Reverend Al Green passes I will trip.

Them boys played some ball!

Okay, so I watched only the second half of the NCAA Championship game but them wily sumofabitches were working it out!

Now, I feel the Tarheels, was a HUGE fan in junior high and high school (I HATED Duke!) but when Illinois was down 15 and came back I was like, oh suki, suki now...some underdog stuff is nice. But then the magic of the Tarhells came back like this...they just kept playing and let Illinois lose on their own by just mucking it up. Oh well, them the breaks.

Moral of the story...this was some BALL y'all. This was some street ball/first draft pick/I need to make sure my mama's got her mortgage paid/I'm going to get massive ass if we win this game playing. Shyyyyyyyyyyyyyt!

Bummer somebody got to lose but GO TARHELLS.

Heart of champions...both teams.* The Pope would have been really proud.

*Um, I totally teared up watching the final montage of the whole Championship. I'm telling you, that always gets me. Give me the Olympics and I'm done. Dag. Special shout out to my pal/amazing editor Anthony Amoia for being being in St. Louis this weekend cutting some of those tender packages. Tear.

Is it me or...

...is anyone else missing the war coverage? I mean, yes, it's a bummer to people that Terri Schiavo is dead...but so are a lot of other people and last time I checked CNN was not running 24 hour coverage over their demise. Seriously, it's a wrap. I don't need to know the autopsy results, I don't need to hear what fucking Senator DeLay has to say...he can eat a dick. And for the love of anything besides this "thing" I don't need to know if the Schindler's are going to "forgive" Michael Schiavo. Guess what America? None of this is ANY of YOUR business. So get off your knees, pack up your cruifixes and go back to being self-righteous about your own lives. I'm pretty sure Jesus is just as sick of this bullshit as I am.

Oh, and the Pope is TOTALLY going to die. Man, he picked a lousy week to do this. Poor man is like the leader of the Catholic faith and now he has to be compared to Terri Schiavo as he's getting ready to take it to the sky. That has got to suck.