Lady Sovereign: Public Warning

You kids know how I was trippin' over the Lady Sov EP and trippin' all over myself about seeing the midge at Coachella, right? Well thank the Lord she has delivered with her full length debut.

Public Warning ain't going to change the face of rap (let's be honest, in the good old U.S. of A it's the hipsters, and those that love Verizon commericals that are going to buy this album) but it sure will put a little hitch in the giddy up.

This is a fun, sassy, crude and well produced album...and Lil' Lady Sovereign is owning it. She's got her own flow/style on lock and she is not trying to be anyone but herself. God bless old girl. (M'kay she is like 8 years old but you know what I mean.) It makes you want to rock some Salt' N' Pepa hair, big old gold hoops, and push it real good.

Some of the tracks from her EP ("Random", "A Little Bit of Shhh") are on here and fit right in with the new jammies. Gots to say, I love me some Missy E, but I'm not down with her remix of the first single, "Love Me or Hate Me". Shoot, ain't nothing wrong with having a bad day.

So fools, grab this. This trick is saucy. I like that from my Brits. Oh and don't hate cause me and my boy JDom are going to see her at Bowery on Sunday. These things happen.

The Famous Cinnamon Jenkinz

You have ALL heard me rave on and on about my dear friend Artie, well check him out in action.

This.is.how.you.get.status!

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=18956a43-a663-487e-8204-baff3e42374a&f=00&fg=email

Enjoy!

Dove: They are not kidding

Reason number 45 for why I will be buying Dove products from now on.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OXf8fr0Kp3Q

This is an ad for the new campaign for the Dove Self-Esteem Fund and they ain't half-steppin.

Please, show this to every young girl and boy you know NOW...and tell them to don't believe the hype!

The Advantages of an Morning Wedding

This Sunday I attended the wedding of my college pal Valerie Grubman. I got four words for you. Ice.cream.sundae.bar. Let me set the scene.

Okay. So, when I got Val's invite I was touched and surprised because we don't roll like we did in college and lord knows that the per head cost is crazy retarded so cutting fools off the list is a must. Anyhoo, my heartfelt appreciation turned to malcontent when I saw that the start time was 11am. On a Sunday. On Long Island. I live in Brooklyn. That is not a subway ride away. Once the mister found a cheap rental car place and I realized I could wear my 3-inch gold heels that I NEVER wear I got over myself. Well kinda...

The mister gets the car and picks me up at 9:30 in the morning and we proceeded to tell each other we looked fresh and then complain about how early it was (shut it, 9:30 on a Sunday is early). We get to the venue (which was beautiful and the drive was also) in like one hour and we're like it would be awesome if their were snacks. Ask and you shall receive. This is when the advantages thing comes in...

We walk in and they are handing out me-mosas and Bloody Mary's. It's not even 11am at this point but it has been brought. Because I'm super mature (and had nothing in me stomach) I headed to the tea and pastry area. I grubbed there and then met up with some old pals (Amanda and Shayna, whut up?!) and their boos (it's so nice when your friends date dudes that know how to spar and are awesomely saucy...or maybe that is all that I care about) and then had another muffin.

Okay next. The ceremony is gully. Even gullier, the cocktail hour that begins at about NOON. Full bar. It's barely lunch time. It's like college all over again. Or my parent's house when I was like 5. But that is another story. And the spread. It was stupid. Corned beef. Beef Wellington. A vodka shot buffet (yes, I didn't make that up). We aren't even at "dinner".

Cocktail hour ends and we head to the reception where we begin eating AGAIN at like 2. Salad, sorbet (cleanse the palate, don't act like you don't know better), main course, wedding cake, dessert tray and the piece de resistance...and Ice Cream Sundae Bar! I wanted to throw up so I could eat more. I mean, there were Reese's Pieces as garnish!

Moral of the story: Apparently I like food and free booze. Morning wedding are kinda cool. Next time I'm bringing Tupperware.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Get prepared because I'm about to bust out a Project Runway spoiler. Here we go:

Someone throw me down a well like baby Jessica cause this world is no longer for me. WHY DID JEFFERY JUST WIN?! What kind of heavy, heavy narcotics were the judges on to have that dude come out smelling like a (wilted) rose?!! Yeah, I'm going to keep using a million question marks and a jillion exclamation points so just settle in and get used to it.

Okay, his collection was (a little)better than I thought it would be but it.was.not. fabulous...and you better be fabulous if you are going to win. I LURV Michael but he underwhelmed me to no end and it was like some high end Fulton St. Mall ish and I was not having that. Laura did some AMAZING work with her evening wear, I mean it was gor-jus. Regardless I knew she would not win because her collection didn't stray from what she usually does but strike me down dead Lord if I was not wishing I was built like a model (and had the loot) so I could commission each damn piece she made. And let's call a spade a spade: from the get-go Uli was not my cup of Bavarian tea but she KILLED it! Dead. With a shovel. Every piece of hers was on point (did you see that dress that became a bikini? uh no, she did not! it was on fire!) that it seemed obvious she would win. When the judges were giving their critiques it was like Uli is brilliant, blah to the blah...yeah, we got it, homegirl has it on lock. And then the hammer came down...

Jeffrey! Innovative? Yeah, that zipper on the dress why kinda cute but I got two words for you: Vivianne and Westwood. It's been done.

Maybe I just need to go to sleep and just try and shut out the demons in my head because this is not right.

I've been bamboozled.

I've been betrayed.

I've been hurt.

Klum, I expect this from Tyra but not you. It's on. I mean, it's really on.

Old Les-be-ons Represent!

To cap off my weekend the mister and I went to see Joan Jett and the Blackhearts and that wee lady tore it up! It was sweaty, rocking and lestastic sing-a-long! Okay, let me back it up.

After having a lovely Tilapia dinner at Pete's Tavern (and passing Roger Clark from NY1...holla...while walking out the door) my dude and I sashayed down over to Irving Plaza. Well he walked, I sauntered/sashayed, regardless, I was KILLING it in my fierce kitten heeled boots that I forgot I had until I was clearing out my closet for a stoop sale...but that is neither here nor there. Focus! So we get there just in time to see Eagles of Death Metal (sans Josh Homme) and I gots to hear my jam "Cherry Cola". Seriously kids, such a fun lil' ditty. As I'm shimmying and trying to stay awake (cause it's almost 11pm on the Lord's day) I see a swarm of lesbians coming at me like locuts and I really knew where I was at. They* love her and she loves them*.

Now I'm not here to write about lesbians and their shagtastic haircuts, or their love for very casual wear and Bud Light (even though I do love to generalize...we blicks are used to generalizations) but to say...goddamn, who knew so many of em lived on Strong Island! Honey, the lilth of that oh so delicate accent cut through all the sound and there was no need to do some kind of regional shout out. One region was heavily represented.

How was this represented the best? A very joyous and squat woman parked herself right next to the mister and SQUEALED for what seems like a dog's age for old girl to come out. She then sang along to EVERY SONG in the most tone def manner than anyone within a 5 foot radius turned around with such a look of pain I ALMOST felt embarrassed for lady hobbit. Now I say almost because she kinda ruined me enjoying the magic of what is "Bad Reputation" and I can't have forgiveness in my heart when you fuck up my rock. Now I'm not calling out the ladies that love ladies just this lady. Honey, I often have to represent for my people when I don't want to and you have to do the same. So on that note: Shut your trap or go to a vocal coach. One of the two. I know I can't sang so I'm not going to subject fools my pitchless warblings.

So moral of the story: Joan ruled. The ladies loved her. And I think a Siouxsie and the Banshees loving butchie touched my butt. Plus Roger Clark showed up and was right next to me at the show...cause that is how he rolls. All in all, it was a good Sunday.

*I like how I rock "they" and "them"...yeah, I like to get my oppression on too!

Ladies and Gentlemen...

...I give you Cinnamon Jenkinz!

http://cinnamonjenkinz.blogspot.com/

LEARN!

My Mama Was Always Right...

...when she said them big old chicken titties will eff you up. Check it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/17/science/17puberty.html?ref=health

This is why I'm a people person that often hates people

Fucking devil.

Youth Coach Gets Prison in Beaning Case

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 12, 2006
Filed at 5:28 p.m. ET
UNIONTOWN, Pa. (AP) -- A youth baseball coach convicted of trying to pay a child to bean an autistic teammate so he couldn't play was sentenced Thursday to one to six years in prison.
Mark R. Downs Jr., 29, was convicted by a jury in September of corruption of minors and criminal solicitation to commit simple assault.
Authorities said Downs offered to pay the 8-year-old player $25 to hit the 9-year-old mildly autistic teammate with a ball during warmups for a June 2005 playoff game.
The younger boy testified at trial that, on Downs' instructions, he purposely threw a ball that hit his teammate in the groin, then threw another ball that hit him in the ear. The 9-year-old was bruised on the ear.

Them Big Girls Tore It Up!

Um, were you at the Basement Jaxx show last night at Webster Hall? Eww chile, if you weren't you gunna wish you were!

You know that I'm a WINNER (aka dork) and won tickets to see them, so already I was ready to have fun cuz free is the old and new black. Anyhoo, my girl Yanna was my date and we were ret to go. And by ret to go I mean ret to drop and get our eagles on. Okay, let me get to that chase being cut to...

At about 10:3o them tricks came on and KILLED it with Lisa Kekaula from the Bellrays on "Good Luck" and it was on from there. Full band and many a big black girl sangers...honeychile, it was like heaven. Only thing better would have been if Jennifer Holliday (circa 1981) came out and belted out some material from Dreamgirls...that is how blick and fabulous is was. You have NO idea how fierce the women were on stage. I mean a few of these ladies were so voluputous it would make many a grown man cry...and they could break a skinny bitch if pushed. They owned the room and owned us. It was a wrap. Let me continue...

The kicker was that I have not seen hipsters have such a great time in ages! It was a Wednesday my dears and the kids were in full effect. And I almost broke my damn neck workshopping some choreography that is bound to be commissioned by Fatima Robinson. It was that hot. There is nothing better than seeing people just let loose, DANCE and do their own thing. It was just...fun. I mean, when people stop trying to be cool and slick and just get their: sexy, dorky, funky, joyous, sweaty on it's bew-tee-ful. Don't hate. That was poignant.

Okay, the big finale: They did all the "hits" (as in songs that will never see the light of the Billboard charts but people in New York, Los Angeles, et al. love) and then busted out "Where's Your Head At?" and I was looking for the parametics...cause I knew somebody was gunna get hurt! I looked over the balcony to the floor and it was just a sea of sweaty folks tearing it up and my jaded, "I like to say home with my DVR and eat Thai fried rice with my dude cause I'm old and chile, I really don't want to go to a show that starts at 11", ass starting jumping up and down and almost fell down. Did I look foolish? Yes. Did I have a ball? Don't ask me a silly question. Shoot.

Moral of the story: I feel sorry if you weren't there. Even my feelings are hurt cause I had THAT much fun.

Blessings y'all.

Just Sharing

Let's cut to the chase:

Hard Candy-See it, shit is creepy as hell and I almost vurped a few times. That being said what a distrubingly crafty flick that has made me fall in love with both Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page. I'm ambidextrous like that. And the way it's shot: Director David Slade knew what he was doing. Lovely and subtle...in that creepy as hell way.

The Grates' Gravity Won't Get You High-I saw this trio open for the Dears and they were precious in that maybe someone in the band is retarded kinda way. Yes, that was a compliment. Anyhoo, finally got around to listening to their new album. Shit is fun. I like some joyous tunes, I really do. Which leads me to...

Deee-Lite-Just the fact that a Deee-Lite song came on me IPOD while I was working out this morning. Say what you want about Lady Miss Kier being cracked out, I don't care. In 1990 that bitch was on fire. Groove is still in my heart.

Lost-Did you see the first 5 minutes of the season premiere last week? Eww chile, I'm glad it's back. Jack is totally going to trip when Sawyer finally puts the tip in Kate. Like, his beef with Locke is a wrap kinda mad.

Cadbury Chocolate Fingers-Cookie biscuits and chocolate. I love this ALMOST as much as I lurv my mister. The next fight I start with him might tip the cookies in the lead. I know, I'm not right.

Um...

...why when I went to do my bizness in the ladies loo there was a letter opener on the ground? Seriously folks, this is what happens when Roe v. Wade seems kinda shaky. Just saying.

Real People Do Win!!!

So, recently I've decided to be a little more frugal in my life (don't ask me about the coat I just put on layaway, yes I said it LAY-A-WAY...it's like 1985 at Marshall's up in here) and not spend tons of scratch on shows. Anyhoo, I was all amped to see the Basement Jaxx but then I was like, "Urh, I'm not in the mood to spend 40 bucks a ticket. That is retardo" Cut to yesterday...

I get an e-mail from Other Music, like I always do, and there is a contest to win two tickets to the show next week. And of course I entered but was like, "Whatever, no one ever wins them foolish things." Well guess what...I DID! I WON! TWO TICKETS! I GET TO SHAKE MY JUNK FOR FREE TO A HEAVY BEAT! Okay, I do that all the time for free. But this time as a winner! You would think I never go out and have never received comped tickets but I'm excitable that way. I can now use that 40 bucks I saved on chinese food and meth before the show. Okay, not meth but booze. You get my gist. Frugality is dead once you become a winner!!!

God bless America and Other Music.

Okay, off to get my ID at home (why is it not in my wallet?!) so I can come back in the city and see Built to Spill with about a thousand other thirty-somethings that like tubby lead singers from Idaho.

I must be clinically depressed...

...because I have been abandoning the things I love, such as me lil' blog. That being said. Hey y'all, I've let the sweet kiss of sunlight touch my cheek and I'm ret to roll!

Here are some things I'm loving:

*My friend Tony. Why? Cause he just sends me funny and random videos from YouTube all the time and distracts me like no other. That kid is no joke and hella amusing. And he is a wee red-headed old-skool hip-hop/indie/everything else fan...I heart that shit.
*Regina Specktor's "Fidelity"--song and video. When homegirl first came out I was like, "This poor man's Fiona Apple (who was a poor man's Tori Amos if you really want to break it down) needs to get to stepping and not try to get her 'When the Pawn Fall...' on or I will cut her Russian immigrant ass. Proper like!" But then I heard this song and calmed down. She coo. I'm not mad.
*My friend Adrienne Hurst for getting accepted into Medicins Sans Frontier (that is some francais folks)-Doctors Without Borders. Don't act like that this is not the gulliest thing ever. All of us thought they were going to send her black ass to Af-ree-ka but they sent her to Georgia instead--as in Russia. Wut?! Well she is already a local celebrity. She is totally my hero.
*Oprah and Gayle's road trip that is aired on Op's show every Tuesday. Shit is amusing. If you don't know what I'm talking about don't even sweat it. Not in the mood to breakdown the magic of seeing Op and her best friend on a cross country road and see the Op's sans make-up. My faith in daytime television is so intact.
*My blogger bud Coltrane Jenkins (who I mention way too much, his wifey is bound to think I'm about to get all Glenn Close/Alex Forrest (a la Fatal Attaction) in this joint. "You can't just ignore me COLTRANE!"I keed, I keed. Mad respect for CJ). For real...have you checked his blog out yet? Dude keeps the dream alive. http://coltranejenkins.blogspot.com/
*The fall TV line-up. For real, my DVR is trippin' . And god bless scripted programming it up! I mean 'The Biggest Loser' is my jam (and the finest reality show out there cause it's crazy inspiring) but 'Ugly Betty' and 'Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip' are my new jams.

Okay, that was just a lil taste of me back in action. I hope you enjoyed.

Curtsey.