The Hives DESTROYED it last night

I'm just going to put this out right now. The Hives are a stellar live act and they might want to consider setting up a symposium for other musicians on how to sell it to crowds like they need to pay the rent.

Sunday night my tired ass was THIS close to not going to see the Swedes at Webster Hall. Got back late from hanging with a friend in Jersey (yeah, I'm gangsta), was hungry, working out a cleaning schedule cause my moms is coming tomorrow (thank god I finally got an arrived...sidenote), therefore I was like the last thing I need to go is get up and go out. Oh, and Latasha, being the slag that she is (jokes, just jokes!) was like, "Um, I'm tired, I don't think I'm going to go now..." She is so lucky I made her feel bad and she called back to say she would go. Don't know why I said that, she is like 6'3" and I'm not, but I'm scrappy, like a Chihuahua and shit so I would have tired to work it out. Moving along, LT became my girl again, cause you know, that is how I do and she drove our sassy (and cute) asses to the venue.

Jump to 9:45pm--we are drinking our too expensive Gray Goose (feel free to send me a case for this shout out right ici) and cranberry tails of cock in the balcony and the rock assault happens. The color coordinated dapper gents come out and just unleash a torrent of just fun, fast, rock/garage rock/blues/pop and whatever else you want to throw in there tunes and the kids were eating it up. It was tight, energetic and...professional.

Okay, now that might sound like something you are not looking for in your musical experience, but trust me, you want it. How many times have you spent some hard earned ducats on a show and half way through you are like, well fuck this right up it's ass, I could have stayed home, listed to the CD with a bucket of KFC and a 2 liter of pop and would have been has happy as a pig in shit. Or something like that. Don't get me started on how I walked out a Badly Drawn Boy show at the Knit some years back...still trying to get over that shit.

Well the Hives do NOT let you down. Yes, the songs are very similar to what they sound like on CD but at the same time their CDs seem like are made so they CAN be played lived. You get the pressed music just to prep yourself for an evening out listening to these fools (and I say that with utter respect, seriously)! The in-between song banter is worth the ticket price alone and goddammit if I don't love a band that wears not only suits, but matching suits and fucking spats...spats y'all, motherfucking spats. That IS the new bling. Thank you, one more time, thank you for knowing that you are putting on a show and therefore you are entertainers and you should have a little flare. Know you are it and work it dammit.

These gentlemen, well particulary, Howlin' Pelle Almqvist, have this air of arrogance that might rub the kids the wrong way, but you know what I say to that? Bring it and smack me around with it a touch. I feel that rock has lost that "persona" vibe that it had back in the day when musicians would come out, pose/preen, let you know that you were there to see a show and the reason you are there is because you LOVE the band...and yes, they love you too. Hip-hop will bring the bravado but rock acts are made to feel like dicks if they do the same thing...and fuck it, you got a record deal, you need to recoup some shit, you better come out there and make me want to make sure your babies are being fed!

Um, and here is a little advice I wanted to throw out. If you are going to come to a show (that is clearly not a punk show circa 1979) please don't flip off the band just for the fuck of it. Oh, and if the lead singer of said band calls you on it, don't try and rock that junior high moment TWICE because he might tell you, the second time he catches your fat ass, that you are old and to shut the fuck up and then launch into the next song effortlessly cause that is what he does. Cause if that happens, you just look like an asshole, and people will point and stare and throw pigs blood on you. Okay, the last part might not happen but it would awesome if he did.

So the Hives flipped it and reversed it. Pelle went into the crowd numerous times to press the flesh while kicking out the jam and hipsters rejoiced. It's a beautiful moment when the jaded just let loose and have a good time. And like Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes I too had the time of my life, at least at that moment I did.