Oh Kathy Griffin you slay me!

My sick ass (can I get one more illness to break my will to live, please?!) just got back from LA where Kathy Griffin hosted an awards ceremony I attended...that was ghetto as hell and a hot mess...but she KILLED IT and made it all worth it!

As you probably already know there are a handful of things that I'm absolutely obsessed with at the moment and two of those things are "Lost" and Kathy Griffin. Years ago I thought the trick was the most annoying thing since Herve Villechaize on coke (partying with him in the 80's was a chore, trust me) but since getting sucked into "My Life on the D-List" I'm a disciple of hers...it is that deep.

Anyway, I'm at this awards show (which hardly anyone attended), schlepping around a beat ass swag bag (man, I sound like an ingrate, right?) and my girl comes out guns blazing with rounds of funny. You like that right there? Rounds of funny...it's scary how this shit just comes to me. Like God is speaking through me or something...or at least Charles Bronson. So check it, this is an awards ceremony for women in the media and she comes out talking about it's all about the bitches tonight and we are going to carry torches around and castrate all the men...and you know that is always funny. That and one-legged pygmies, that always slays me son.

Okay, so the best part of the evening, and you might have to have been there but I will continue, was when old girl is reading the nominees for best clit news special or something and they are rolling a clip about this one woman that is mad accomplished AND autistic. So KG says what everyone is thinking under her breath into the mic, "Oh shit..." Yeah, that was what was rolling through my mind mama.

So here we go...I flew out for this thing on a Monday morning and flew back Tuesday morning but it was worth it for the magic known as the Kathy Griffin. Curtsey. Love that bitch.

Um, and I want to hope it is a terrible, terrible joke that her and her husband Matt are getting divorced. If you ever watched her reality show you would know that was some funny and sweet love...I mean she said she loved him so much that there needed to be a restraining order put on her. That is strong. I have to say, making him hang with her "gays", watch "Project Runway" and go shopping with her all the time had to take a toil.

I got to remember that shit when I want Mr. Read to watch "America's Next Top Model" with me and engage me in the works of Tyra Banks. That can turn on your ass right quick.