I have so been forsaken

Okay...let me first off start off by saying that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this indictment of the April 13th Duran Duran show at Madison Square Garden but if you had been there you would have seen what a FUCKING travesty it was and why I needed to take a moment to just reflect.

Let's start at the beginning...

Months ago TA and I saw that the Double D were playing and we got all in a tizzy. I mean, the thought of seeing John Taylor stage left in all of his bass glory was almost too much to take. For a few minutes I lost the feeling on my right side but it came back when I realized that seeing DD crippled would not that fun. So we went on-line to see about getting tickets and like suspected, the only one's left were like in fucking Guam...and I didn't want to be in a goddamn half-assed U.S. territory to see them.

This is when the sassy Ms. Erica Forstadt comes into the picture...

So old girl is like, what up homes, my brother can bring the pain cause he works with Radio City Hall and MSG and can lock down some fresh tickets. Okay, she didn't just like that but close...I might have missed a "fresh" or a "word". You know how those city kids speak. I was raised all suburban stylee and therefore quite proper. Don't act like you don't know how a niglet from Santa Cruz rolls daughter. Wut, wut!

Next thing you know we have in our hands section 95 tickets and all moist with giddiness at know how close were were to be to John and the boys...yeah, fuck the rest of them, they are not as cute and you know that ugly people should be drowned. Not saying anything new here.

The day of the show the tricks and I are were ret to go and just working out an imaginary set list of the magic that would be sprinkled among the fortunate thousands that were to attend that sold out show. It was to be a night to remember...and living monument of the 80's as it were.

Well that was blown to hell real quick...

We get to MSG and of course it was overrun with middle ages wives just tripping...and I mean TRIPPING. I was excited but I was not that xtra...yeah, I can't even bring myself to put an "e" in that bitch cause it was like that. In front of us was a dude with his two transsexual girlfriends and a drunk ass broad that was making a fool of not only herself but her family that was not even there but probably heard about it the next day from her friend that was with her. For real, it went from amusing to sad in about 2.2 seconds. About the amount of time it took me to fall out of love with the DD...

And you want to know how the love was lost? Those fuckers came out and...PLAYED A GODDAMN NEW SONG! You heard me...a motherfucking new song. You are Duran squared...I'm there for the hits not new songs. Erica, TA and I looked at each other and were stunned. How you going to not feed me some "Hungry Like a Wolf" (you get that?!) when I done paid $90 and you know what I want. Oh, but it gets better. Instead of the mutiny that should have happened the crowd is singing along to ALL the words. Uh, you are 80's icons...come out with the hits. Shyyyyyyyyt.

Oh but then it didn't just end there...

These Charlatans (not the UK) that claimed they were Duran had the the gall to do like an old song, then like 45 new songs and then...are you sitting down? Chubby ass Simon Le Bon opens his mouth and in all seriousness says, "This song is about the war and what is going on now..." Huh? Is that a buzzing in my ear or did you, Mr. Decedent 80's, Mr. I did blow off of models asses why visiting terminally ill children in hospitals (I'm sure that had to have happened once or twice), Mr. I WAS MTV is talking to me about war? Eat a dick cousin. That shit is wack. Want to know what you job is? To sing "Rio" just like it is supposed to be done and talk about shit like Doritos, Weird Science and whatever bands like you talk about. Jeez! Oh and at this point I'm really about to trip! When they did MY FAVORITE song, "Notorious", they decided to throw in "We Are Family" into it. If I wanted to see or hear Sister Sledge I would go to the Sacramento Community Center Night of a 1000 stars...but I didn't, so don't fuck with perfection. Goddammit that made me so mad. In all honesty at that point I was so disgusted for the lack of respect of doing WHAT I WANTED they could have brought out Gael Garcia Bernal and I would still have been pissed. Nah dawg, I'm lying. That would have made me feel better. Anyway they didn't so they get gas face.

So you know what happened next? We bounced. Yeah, I said it, we bizounced. I'm too old to be toyed with and the DD will be the last band that I need to see work out new material and be thought provoking. I get my news from the BBC, I don't need it from you. Back in the day I would kept my ass there and got my money's worth but being in a better tax bracket will make you do some crazy shit...like leave.

Moral of the story:
Erica is rad for getting us just great seats...but I blame her also for us being so close that we saw a great 80's outfit collapse in front of us. I mean for Heaven's sake...Simon did a leap off the drum riser and looked like he was going to take a header, and a high kick is really not cute. Even Diamond Dave quit that shit. Oh, and to see John Taylor get on his knees to play one song was not fancy...it looked like his joints were acting up. Shake of the head, shake of the head...

Hey, but the evening was not lost. Went to TA's after we bailed and watched the ANTM where Tyra lost her shit. Aw chile...that was some entertainment...my mama never yelled at me like that, I was scurred!

And end of very angry scene.