New Years Eve is usually beat...

...but me and the kids had a gay old time at my spot!

Going to a bar in NYC for "The New Years" is an ordeal, plain and simple so this year I decided to have a gathering because:

a) I have my own place
b) I have a working fireplace (okay, it's broke at the moment)
c) And I'm a lazy trick and I wanted people to come to me...don't hate, celebrate

You know there is nothing beater than paying a shitload of ducats to hang in a spot with fools that you would rather slice in the face then share the the same air with. Seriously, I'm not being nasty, just honest. If we all spreaded a little more troof in the world it would be a better place. Amen and hallelujah.

So it was a small gathering with some good people, good food (my spinach dip can bring a man to tears) and more booze than I want to ever see again. For real, the day after I had to hide the shit from my eyes cause the thought of another drop of liquor touching me lips could possibly give me a stroke...until I have another drink tomorrow.

From 10 to 3 in the morning I was drinking Prosecco and peach nectar like a alcoholic lady that lunches...and for real, it was sexy at the moment, the next day, not cute. Why I thought drinking something that resembles champagne was not going to give me the same feeling that champagne has, and that feeling is called a fucking hangover, makes me retarded. Straight up "The Other Sister". I'm too old for this shit but I guess it keeps me honest. But enough about my feelings of nausea and disorientation the next day.

I have to give major shouts out for my people coming and coming deep with gifts. The joint was packed to the rafters with chips, dip, pies, liquor, mushroom caps....it touched the cockles of my little heart. We ate, we drank, we talked...it was like, um, a party, but even better. Yeah, that made no sense but I get it and that is all that matters dammit. Anyway, we toasted the new year old school Korbel style with about 2 minutes to spare cause surprise, surprise, I almost forgot it was about to be midnight. We would have done it with Mr. Dick Clark but y'all know old dude is recouping from a stroke (get better Dick, get better brother) so we kicked it in with crazy ass Regis...whatever. At this point it would have been smart to slow the dranking down but of course I decided to be stupid, go figure.

Regardless I had a ton of fun and I think the childrun did too....it cleared out at 3:30 and that ain't to shabby. At this point I have to give a very afterschool skool special thank you to Mr. Ryan Ingrasin* for cleaning up my kitchen at 3:30 in the morning just because. Yeah, you heard that...HE.CLEANED.MY.KITCHEN.JUST.BECAUSE. Yes, I am special and you are not...we are totally going to get married within 24 months cause that is just the hot thing to do and he did one of the nicest things a boy has ever done for me. Honey, I'm a simple bitch. All I have to say is swiffer. End of story and period. Tear.

I also have to give a salute** to all the ladies in attendance. My girls are fucking cute as hell and I swear if I was a dude or a lesbian I would stick it in them and move it around a little. Y'all bitches looked good. Extra star for Ms. Sarah C.'s adorable top...she was killing it. For real, all of em, tasti-d-lites! Renee, BRAVO for coming to the BK...gurl, you know I appreciate that shit cause I know that you DON'T LEAVE "The Hat"...that is tender.

So in summation...good times, good times. I woke up with my ass bleeding and then I got high. Rad.

*Be a sport and support my man Ry Ry...the film he produced, Devils Are Dreaming, is screening at Anthology Film Archives this Wednesday at 8pm. You can feel like you are being artsy and cutting edge while not even breaking a sweat. It's a win-win situation.

**Non-party attentee love goes to Jason Black for feeding me a lovely grilled pork tenderloin and sauteed veggies at his home on New Years evening. For real, I felt like I had been beaten like Farrah Fawcett in The Burning Bed and this made me feel so much better...oh and him letting me drape myself every so dramatically on his person as I bitched and moaned was swell too. I heart that man.