Black folks are just not that crafty...

This morning Aron Ralston, the young chap that amputated his OWN arm when an 800 pound boulder fell on it when he was hiking, was on CNN American Morning to promote his book on the experience, 'Between a Rock and a Hard Place'. Um...I could just riff for DAYS about what a wack title this is and clearly so fucking obvious that a retarded Somalian child with no teeth and one eye could have come up with it but I won't. Dude went through enough shit and is apparently smart enough to KNOW how to safely cut himself out of the situation so I'm going to sit on my snarkiness...but y'all know what I'm thinking.

My point for bringing this up...beyond it just being disturbingly badass...is this...a negro would not have pulled this off.

Let me begin...

First off most people of the sun have no desire to hike, no way, no day. I mean, yes, I have been hiking, shit I've been camping a few times but I was raised around a lot of white people in Santa Cruz so that is bound to happen by osmosis. Shit, put me in a convertible Cabriolet with some fools on a road trip and I will sing Toto's "Hold the Line" louder than any of my white brethren, it's call conditioning...but I digress.

Second, most of my people don't carry tools around when they are walking around, specfically hiking tools, remember, we don't hike. There is nothing pithy to say here...just a fact. An extra bottle of Tabisco sauce maybe, but tools, nope. No tools means you can't cut off an arm. Sorry.

Third, I don't think we could work through the pain. I'm sorry, there are too many stories of white folks being in fucked up situations where they work through the pain and get to the point of enlightenment and euphoria and just survive. That is some mind over matter, aligning your chakras kind of deal that most black folks have not had the privilage to learn. When you are trying to fight the man day in and day out...and trying to circumvent the obviously racist system that we live in there is not much time to take a lot of yoga and meditation classes. And don't get bent out of shape here! I'm not ignoring the back backing pain my black ancestors went though back in the day...or African women in the bush having babies while carrying another baby on her back and carrying a 200 pound jug of water on her head...don't go writing a nasty e-mail, not going to have it! We aren't talking about that...it's the here and now playa!

Fourth thing...It would just take up too much time with that sawing off your own arm--skin, bone, tendon, et al. We would need at least a good 7 or 8 days to curse God and the powers that be in our day to day life before thinking of what the fuck to do. We like to bitch and moan FOREVER. By the time that shit is all worked out you and Carol Ann are walking towards the white light together.

Fifth--In case you missed it before...WE DON'T HIKE and sure as hell not going to after what happened to young buck here!

Moral of the story...Aron is straight thug and therefore probably the blackest person out there today. 50 Cent ain't got nothing on you boo. You and that hook of yours better work! That will to live thing is kinda fierce...I think I'm just too lazy. Hey, if you put an open bar and Gael Garcia Bernal on the other side of the boulder I might be able to work some shit out though...