America's Next Top Model: I'm pissed

After getting dicked around last week with a goddamn highlight reel episode of ANTM I was ready for some action and a bitch to hit the road. You know what I got? A slap in the face.

Let me explain.

The tricks have their usual photoshoot...which Nik KILLED; they had to sell themselves to extra talent manager Benny Medina to win a guest spot on Veronica Mars, which Kim won and I don't how know since she has no personality and is the most boring lesbian ever...and I know lesbians. Actually I don't at all, my great aunt by marriage Aunt Veechi is one but...hell, I'm going no where with this. Wow, I just veered off topic. Anyway, they did the usual blah, blah, blah....and you know I love that shit.

Where this is when I get mad.

So it comes to elimination time and the judges do their thing. This is the moment when I have to say that even though Twiggy is no Janice she is starting to get all annoyed looking and can't be bothered. Love it. Okay, so Nik, Bre, Kim and Lisa are saved and then Jayla and Nicole are in the bottom two and feel that the Lord is smiling upon me.

See, Nicole is boring and whines and it would fine with me if she got the boot...but that is not my goal. Jayla on the other hand is an evil human being that needs to be destroyed. And she is a Mormon that was home-schooled...she ain't right at all. My goal is for her to be gone. So you can just feel the electricity when Tyra in her "You shall be dismissed" voice says both of them need to go back to the house...and I'm ramped up cause I'm like oh shit both bitches are going home. But then BAM. She flips over the pics and it's a Union Jack...all the bitches are going to London for the international part of the trip.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?! Are you shitting me?! I've committed my last hour and my life to this and someone is not going home?!

I was not pleased.

All I have to say is that someone better not just be kicked off next week but kicked off and then thrown in a well to put the lotion in the basket. I will be satisfied with nothing less.

Oh, yeah, Lisa peed in a diaper this week. That trick is crazy.