The Neverending Story Part 3: The Oscars

Really, was last night necessary?! For real. Did the Oscars need to be FOUR HOURS LONG? I would say no.

Listen to me: I love the Oscars. I mean LOVE it. It's my Superbowl. I make sure to see the majority of the films nominated to I can be an informed (and arrogant )viewer. I plan my viewing party arrangements months in advance. I make spinach dip for the occasion. I'm that committed. But last night...a little bit of me died.

Don't get me wrong, Ellen Degeneres was funny and cute but there should have been more of her and less montages. Did you count how many?! There were like 4,876 before the 2nd award was handed out. I don't know if anyone read the Oscar manual but you are allowed like three montages TOTAL. This shall include: the dead people, lifetime achievement and some random ass one that the key grip picks. Oh and a montage should not be about 56 minutes long. That is called a show.

Next: Jennifer Hudson. Cinderella story. Cute. Does she deserve an Oscar? Um, no. Honey, god bless you but I was not blown away. Shoot, take my black card away if you must but Dreamgirls left me completely underwhelmed. Maybe I just think Jennifer Holliday's version of "I'm Telling You..." is so iconic that I couldn't get past it when watching the movie. Or, it could be that it wasn't that good and JHud is a nice girl but she was just aiight. Got pipes, not the new face of black cinema. Just saying. Oh, and doesn't she seem a bit cocky now? Really, slow your roll big girl.

Ryan Gosling. I love him. I wanted to throw that out.

So yeah, here are the negatives:
*Too long
*Too long
*Too long

My Positives:
*The Will Ferrell/Jack Black/John C. Reilly musical number. I love a curly haird WF. And I love a WF that points out the badassness (yes that is ONE word) of Marky Mark. Chuckles
*Robert Downey, Jr. making fun of his own former drug abuse. Comedy gold
*Djimon Hounsou for being out of control handsome/pretty/god like. Have you seen his skin? It's like not humanly possible smooth and shiny. Does he have a wife? For real, has he mated yet? If not, I understand. That kinda beauty can't be stiffled by one person. I bet George Clooney (who was on fire himself that night) looks at dude and is like, "Man, I'm so fugly, no one will ever truly love me with an Af-re-kan that on fire hot walking the Earth." That thought has totally crossed his mind
*Those weird ass shadow formation/tribute to the work of Debbie Allen thingys
*Cate Blancett. Luminous
*All the Mexicans winning. You know how I feel about that. Tear to eye
*Gael Garcia Bernal and Ryan Gosling (one more time) existing

Moral of the story: Put together a better show format...I don't need to go through this again next year.

Oh, if you want to really get your laugh on check out the FUG girls commentary. Always well played.

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2007/02/fugging_the_oscars_1.html