I'm glad the Romanian gymnasts fucked shit up...

...and let me tell you why. First off half of those little weebles are probably orphans and own only one pair of shoes. For real, Google that shit. These little women live in a Eastern Bloc country that is still reeling from a evil dictator and have a coach that looks like he would slap the taste out of their mouths if they breathed the wrong way doing the triple sow-cow Nipsey Russell dismount off the balance beam. I just think it is tremendously badass to be THAT good and I almost shed a tear during the medal ceremony. When that one girl was just standing there with the tears and snot just kicking it at 11 I was like damn, this is deep...they are going to give her family an apartment with running water for this.

Now I might have rooted for the American team more if that little brat Carly Patterson knew how to act right when she fucked up on the uneven bars. You better be humble as hell kid when you blow if for the team. Oh, and when they interview you after you the get the SILVER (hello, 2nd ain't bad sugarplum!) don't get all arrogant and say, "I messed up, but this is just another competition". Um, no it's not. It's the goddamn Olympics stretch, bring your A game or don't come at all. Oh and while we're at it don't make that face either when your teammate is being very gracious on camera. Little brat, I will smack her, I swear to Benicio Del Toro I will.

And another thing...as my lovely friend Vanessa pointed out...the Americans probably had a make-up artist to make them look like baby harlots. The Romanians, shit, they had to put the Cover Girl on alone with a broken mirror. And if you noticed they didn't have the luxury of having half a pound of glitter in their hair like our countrywomen. Poor things barely even fit into those ugly ass leotards they were sporting. Those girls totally dserved the gold...

Okay, I think I have cooled off.

A few more comments:

*Ian "The Thorpedo" Thorpe...HOT in a really weird ass way
*Paul Hamm--sweet Jesus, could his voice be any higher?! I'm scarred...but he is very gracious and I wish him luck tonight in the Men's Gymnastics All Around

On a non Olympics note: Is it me or does the dude in that Avril Lavigne video ("Happy Ending" look strangly like a combination of Guy Pierce and Rick Soloman? Wigging me out a bit, but in a good way.