Let the Games Begin!

Man, I love the female Super Bowl!

http://www.oscar.com/nominees/list.html

Just a few comments...

You know my thoughts on Terrence Howard (argh), so I will keep that in check.

Brava to Amy Adams for getting a Best Supporting Actress nom for Junebug. Put this shit in your queue. It is a sweet and thoughtful movie and Ms. Adams will be breaking your heart and cracking you the eff up. My girl will lose to Rachel Weisz, who TOTALLY deserves to win, but shit, nice nom ma. Um, not happy to see that The Constant Gardener was given the shaft in the other major categories. Ralph Finnes SHOULD have gotten had a Best Actor nom locked, as well as Fernando Meirelles for Best Director and to me this is THE BEST PICTURE. But that is neither here nor there. Devils. But even though I don't think Brokeback Mountain is as GREAT as everyone thinks it is (for real, it's really good, but dang. I did cry like a bitch for the last 5 minutes), but how happy am I to see Jake Gyllenhaal get a nom. He's swell. Sigh.

March 5th is going to rule.

Erika's Oscar Picks...yeah, Ima put money on this:
Best Picture: Brokeback Mountain
Best Director: Ang Lee
Best Actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Actress: Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actor: Paul Giamatti
Best Supporting Actress: Rachel Weisz

Let do dis!

It's a sad, sad day...

First off the lovely Ms. Coretta Scott King passes today (time to be with your boo, it's going to be all good) and then Terrence Howard gets nominated for a Best Actor Oscar for Hustle & Flow.

Seriously, what was the point of the good Rev. Dr. King and Mrs. King making moves--so my people could be treated like humans and not chattel--if you are going to play some brotha who is a pimp turned rapper and then get cannonized for it?! Lord, help me on my journey.

For real, this movie was SO bad my feelings were hurt for days. I'm so over the Academy trying to seem diverse and nominate these roles--and bad acting if you ask me. Halle Berry in Monster's Ball anyone? When their version of diversity is praising roles that are so effin' stereotypical it makes me want to spit. Um, and white critics, please don't try and tell me this is a movie about redemption. Suckit. I'm going to cut something, I swear I will.

Okay, I'm going to settle. Let me get back to my tribute to Mrs. King.

So yes, everyone take a moment and praise a woman that kept the march going on after her man was assassinated. Also, special shout out for the fact that this was a black woman that attended the New England Conservatory of Music in the 40's...a black woman from rural Alabama. That is deep.

Godspeed Mrs. King, Godspeed....
http://www.gale.com/free_resources/whm/bio/king_c_s.htm

Oprah and the Salem Witch Hunts

I know I'm a little late with this but sometimes you need to let your rage die down before you blog. On that note...

What the fuck is up with Oprah and her God complex?!

I finally got around to watching the live castrating of James Frey on Oprah and it was so painful. Now yeah, dude totally got all sorts of extra and really revamped the concept of a memoir but damn, the way she railed into him was just ev-vil.

Let me give a brief syop:
So we all know that Oprah got busted for defending the honor of James Frey on Larry King Live--felt the heat--and then decided to do a live show to apologize to her viewers for backing the embellisher. It was during this forum that she had James Frey on and "confronted" him for lying to her and her viewers...the operative part being HER. See it had nothing to do with Frey getting caught up in making his podunk drunken and drug addicted daze glamorous to publishers and the public, it was about Oprah saving face...and ripping son a new asshole at the same time. It was ugly.

During the hour she pretty much asked Frey a billion and one questions, never let him answer--and when he did was so dismissive it was insulting. I mean come on now, I think homes got busted doing what many a author does, that we don't know about, but get the fuck over it. Old girl was all up in the bitch--angry and ready to pounce a lion in the Serengeti. Writer boy pumped up his book, he didn't say, I don't know, lie to Congress to get to fighting in a war or something. The Winfrey was acting like she woke up one night with her panties around her ankles, her ass bleeding, and saw James Frey peering down on her about to piss in her ear. Jesus, prespective needs to be had.

My favorite part of the show is when she had journalists come on to jump in on the circle jerk and tell Frey how much he sucked. For real, he looked like he was going to kill himself on the set, it was pathetic. It.was.a.public.stoning. I would have loved to have asked the dude at the Times if he remembered a little guy by the name of Jayson Blair that was at this mom and pop operation that lied...in the name of journalism. Um, that is not a memoir, that's a newspaper that is supposed to inform the people. Call me kooky. And someone might want to bring up Stephan Glass and The New Republic.

See, I'm not saying that we should just brush this under the rug but man, after a couple weeks the bloodletting has become tiresome. Ain't there someone else we can browbeat. Honey, I live a US Weekly existence, I need new people to tie to a tree and lash with a switch each week, I can't harp on one sucka for too long. Is asking the same from our billion dollar making talk show gurus too much?

Whatevs...

At least Ms. Spanish Inquistion had Jake Gyllenhaal on the next day. He's dreamy. That will keep me from firing off an fiesty e-mail. At least for another day. The JG does know how to bring about peace in harmony. Sigh.

"It's a motherfucking walk-off!"

Did you see Project Runway last night?! It.was.the.best.episode.yet. Let me tell you right the eff now, this whole post is a spoiler alert so get all up in my face cause I "ruined" shit. You should have stayed up and watched it if you are committed...like my dumb ass did. I love that when I got home I was able to kick that shit on (courtesy of my other boyfriend, Mr. DVR) and I didn't care that I had to be up at 6:20 this morning--I WOULD NOT have been able to sleep without knowing what went down.

Okay, so check it.

If you don't know, this is what happens at the beginning of each new episode. The person that won the previous challenge has the choice to continuing with the model they already have, can pick the losing the model (the girl who's designer got the Michael Kors boot the week before) or choose from ALL the models. Now each week the designers are like loyal and shit but this week Zulema, who won her first challenge, fucked shit up and decided to flip the script. The bitch asked that the models come out and had three of them do a walk-off. As the lovely Daniel Vosovic aptly put it, "A motherfucking walk-off!"* Tricky mcTrick Trick picked Nick's model, the losing model and Andrae's model for the walk off. And honey, the reaction shots of Andrae and Nick were worth at least 2 or 3 Emmys.

It was drama, intrigue...there were tears! You should have seen the model that Zulema cast aside...she was hurt. Like that kind of hurt a gazelle has as it takes it's last breath after being shut down by a wildebeast. Shit is hard to watch.

And get this: Angry black stereotype takes Nick's model and has the nerve to say, "I'm so sorry Nick." Yo muff, if you sorry then don't do that shit. For real, there is so much black on black crime.** I was not happy.

Lord, we ain't even at the next challenge yet. Proceed.

So their next project was to meet Michael Kors and learn about inspiration. He give them a spiel, hands them each a digital camera and tells them to bound the pavement for an hour to get "inpired". Blah, blah, blah. So they take the pictures and then go back to their studio and pick what picture inspired them and start sketching out what kind of outfit represents this photo. During this whole process Nick is just beat down and is just a shell of a man. He don't know what pic to pick, what to draw. It was sad. That being said the delightful Daniel V. comes up to him and was like don't quit, you got the heart of champion. Tear. It was totally inspiring.

Now they are out picking out their fabrics and stuff and Nick asks their mentor, Tim Gunn, who is fabulous, for some advice. It comes up that Shaka Zulema took his model and Tim is aghast. He's like, "She is so pale, has gummy legs and can't walk...you have this challenge cut out for you", nice, he really needed to hear that.

The kids get back the joint and start creating and this is when I decided I no longer hate Santino (all the vitriol I have within me is now geared towards "her"). He makes the kids laugh by doing a dead-on impersenation of Tim Gunn. It had me rollin'...I will send you kids to the PR website so you can check out some extras. Comedy gold. Even though Santino still looks like a oily and wet sewer rat he's aiight now.

Cut to the runway. It's now time for the judging and I'm just hoping Brutus gets the smack down. Before they get to the runway they interview her new model (Nick's girl) and she was like I don't like her dress--straight up not happy--and then she whispers that she is jealous she can't be with Nick. You tell them how you feel walking mannequin! And then Nick shows his new girl how she needs to work the runway, she does a test run and he squels, "You're my new muse!" It was like all was right with the Lord.

So they are living and twirling out on that catwalk. Daniel V.'s model walks like she's got to pay the rent. Bitch is on it. Andrae's dress was gorge. Santino's dress was not my cup of tea but finally not crazy. Nick's girl delivered with her walk--I was proud. Unfortunately the bottom of the outfit was not that fierce. Kara's was uninspiring. Chloe's was really pretty and wearable. And Zulema's...let's give that it's own new paragraph.

It was aiight...but the judges HATED IT! Jay, the winner from last season, was a judge this week and he shut her down when she tried to to excuse her weak outfit for not looking "done" because of time constraints. He was like Sally don't even try to use that on me, I know time constraints. Good point. But I think he's a sweaty pig so that didn't make me feel better when he knocked her down a peg. The other judges were like argh, gasp, stupid slag I hate you! Okay, not the last part but that is what the eyes were saying...and the eyes don't like, they might be lazy, but they don't lie.

So here comes the dramatic finale...
The judges GUSHED over Daniel and Andrae's designs--but ended up picking Daniel's as the winner. Now D's was dope but I like A-Rock's better but I'm not mad. Chloe is told she passed to the next round. She leaves the runway. Same with Nick. Then Santino, Kara and Zulema are left. They judges browbeat Santino...again...but he really takes it in stride this week and he is told he can stay. He leaves the runway. Okay, it's gettin' gully. Kara and Zulema are both told they pretty much suck cock and need to be flogged. Kara--Zulema--Kara--Zulema. The judges tell Kara she can stay and Zulema...Auf Weidersen sucka.

Moral of the story: Don't cross Nick. If you do the hammer will be dropped. An curtsy.

Man, I love this game!

*This is totally my new catchphrase and I will use it in the most fucked up contexts...mark my word
**Okay, Nick is Greek but he might as well be black...he colored enough. One love y'all.

Check out these links...and what I bought. I'm beyond retarded...and loving it!

http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway_2/Episodes/Episode_8/Videos/

http://projectrunway.shopthescene.com/detail.php?p=3974&SESSID=a72bcc03faa312f0d117c9dd573cfc76

I want to punch Miranda July in her box

Who is Miranda July? I shall tell you. She is visual artist that wrote and directed Me and You and Everyone We Know--a movie that made me want to kick me foot through my new 23" Samsung and set my own vagina on fire. I fucking hated it. I probably hated it even more because EVERYONE I know loves it and thinks I'm batshit insane because I'm willing to drown a newborn so that the memory of this "film" is erased from my wee head. Let me give you the bullshit descript of this pretentious fucker from the Netflix and then I will continue with my rage. Commence:

Today's world of technology and convenience makes it increasingly difficult to find a real connection with another person. In this compelling look at the everyday human experience, Christine (Miranda July) is a cab driver and artist who leads a solitary life. Richard (John Hawkes) is a recently divorced father who's waiting for great things to happen in his life. When his path crosses with Christine's, he's both entranced and panic-stricken.

Yeah, sure.

Here is my numerical breakdown of my beef:
1) The review states that it's compelling. Eff that. I was compelled to turn the shit off within 10 minutes. It was directed by a "visual artist" (aren't we all!) and it feels like I'm trapped in a really bad "visual" art installation--with no air--in a closet--while endearing Chinese water torture.
2) The writer-director is also the lead actress. She should do none of the three.
3) Guess what is narsty? Having a sub-plot in your movie about where children are involved in chat room sex. You know what else is? Having a 5 year old meet up with a woman that is engaging in this "sex" with him in a park. And um I really don't want to sit through a scene where a 13 year old kid is getting a blow job from two teenage girls. I'm going to call the authorities you trick. Whatever you think your metaphor is for this just let it go. Pervert. And trust me, I can get my freaky on...this is just retarded.

Hateful story more hateful:
If you liked this movie you are dead to me. I mean it, I'm not mincing my words here. That bitch is lucky it clocked in under 90 minute cuz anything more would have had been dealt with in a pool of blood. Argh.

Coachella Movie!!!

Bummed I'm going to miss* this--but kids don't act like mama, go and check it out. And then give me the skinny.

*Calexico tonight at Joe's Pub...holla!

The info below is courtesy of the lovely folks at Flavorpill.

when:
Tue 1.24 (7:30pm)
where:
Union Square Stadium 14 (850 Broadway, 212.253.6266) and Regal Battery Park Stadium 11 (102 N End Ave, 212.945.4370)
price:
$10


For alt-music enthusiasts, it doesn't get better than Coachella — a sonic juggernaut that attracts almost 100,000 people to the desert outside Los Angeles in mid-spring. The first Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival took place in 1999 and saw performances by just about every act that mattered. Tonight, you'll have a chance to catch up on the previous six editions at this screening of the official documentary, Coachella. Featuring footage of the Arcade Fire, Iggy & the Stooges, the Pixies, and the White Stripes, the film lets you bask in the festival's glow without the sweltering desert temps.
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Super Tuesday: Music you NEED

Children, I have been sleepin' with my music recs. I mean for real, I'm like that mom that stays in her nightie (and locked in the bedroom) for 5 days at a time alternating between clinical depression sleep and tears of despair. I have failed you--I'm here to make it up. Seriously, I promise, it won't be like last time.

That being said...here are my two picks for CD purchases today!

1) Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins-Rabbit Fur Coat
Um, I love this album. Like if someone stole it from me I would get a bounty hunter and shit would be settled. You don't need to know the details. This is a delightful disc full of countrified/gospel/white gurl soul/grown ass pop ditties...and honey, it never gets old, and I have had it for like 2 months now. Jenny Lewis does her thing with Rilo Kiley, as their lead singer, but she is on some other level shit with this album. You know that song "i never" on the More Adventurous album? The one where she is taking it to church about the love of a good man? Well take that vibe, flip it and reverse, then maybe flip it again and you got it here. She is working that voice and her storytelling skills are on point. Throw in the Watson Twins, real twin gospel singers reared in Kentucky, and you will believe in the Lord Almighty. Don't eff with me. Get this album.

Key Tracks:
"Run Devil Run"
"The Big Guns"
"Rise Up With Fists!"
"Born Secular"
"Melt Your Heart"

2) Cat Power-The Greatest
I've always thought old girl was batshit insane and was never a big fan of her sad ass voice (I do though love me some "He War" from You are Free)--so color me mocha-ish when I heard her latest album and I FELL in love with it. It helps that Chan Marshall, aka Cat Power, is a grown ass woman now and might have worked some of her shit out cause the gorgeous songs on this one don't make me want to slap the melancholy out of her. I mean don't get me wrong, "Old Sad Eyes" is still a bummer but she has mixed it up the bit. Also, when you get some of Al Green's players from the 70's to back you you have got me on lock. From disdain to love...that is deep. Hey, after you listen to "Love & Communication" you will totally understand. Nice play Meow Mix, nice play.

Key Tracks:
"Willie"
"Love & Communication"
"The Greatest"
"Living Proof"

This is why you pay $1,000 a month for cable

Project Runway. That's it, that is the reason for cable to exist in this moment in my life (that and Lost, but y'all fools already know that)--and the justification for shelling out stupid scratch to be entertained--when I'm not listening to my Ipod. Oh, wily technology. Of course this is money that could go to help support a family in a downtrodden land. But guess what? Fuck that noise. They can't recreate Barbie's look in less than 24 hours and work that shit on the runways. Either you are in or you are out. Damn third-worlders.

But that is neither here nor there.

What is here and there is my obsessive love for the the PR. A love that has me looking forward to Wednesday nights at 10. I mean do you understand how I shake with joy knowing that I have Lost at 9 and then PR at 10? I could effin' cry. Shit, this is better than 40 acres AND a mule.

Now I love models--I mean they truly are the backbone of our society, but really, what do that do but be tall and become crank addicts? Project Runway is about artistes! (If you take Marla out of the equation--thank God the old lady got the boot last week, she was downright narsty to Diana, my little confused and sweet Asian friend---damn hack.) They make clothes--and they make them in basically no time. Dang, it takes me a dog's age to saw a button on some shite and there is always a 50/50 chance I might break out into a sweat because of the trauma.

I never was into the first season of PR--I was like whatever. How is it going to be riveting to watch a dude named Scarlett and some angry fat friend of Dorothy get their pleating on--but honey chile, ewww...this is my shit! I watched the first episode and I was like these people are some straight up fools and that is a fierce dress...work it out tricks!

Let me be completely honest, I was sucked in by the promos showing my man, Andrae wearing lil sweat short and crying like a first trimester pregnant illegal alien girl--who just crossed the border with no family, muling heroin up her ass, and a dream--when he was on the chopping block during the first elimnation. They told him to keep his shit in check and guess what...he has! My man mad a gorgeous jersey dress (that I would love to wear if I didn't have my little/big badonk-a-donk-donk) and won last week's challenge with Daniel--it was partner week! They created a day to night outfit for Banana Republic and they worked it out. (Ed note-um, that would be me too: Chloe and Emmett's dress was my jammie-jam-jam, but I totally see why D & A won.)

Now this is where I get ugly:

I love me some drama in my television...and nothing says drama more than Santino Rice, the designer/contestant from LA. He is so extra and over the top I want to punch him in his pussy. Of course this makes for good TV--and makes me hate him. The fucker is talented but he is mean to the other contestants, is bringing my man Nick down (that Greek brotha is talented, and needs to tell the Rice man to suck it), and is going to get popped in the face by a judge soon. Or at least that is a dream of mine. Santino, God don't like ugly.

And finally to the Klum. Ms. Heidi Klum, and her foreign ass, is the greatest host, and don't forget--bitch looks good pregnant. Make her big as a house and she will still turn it out. I love how when she has to kick off contestants she gets all slightly Third Reich. You need to know your place with the Klum cause she will throw your ass in an oven before you can say "chiffon" and "that dress needs a dart".

Moral of the story: Project Runway is it. And reason number #478 as to why I know it is it...cause my dude totally is into watching it with me--like he's not humoring me. When a lad starts tripping with his lady about the inner working of the judging process on a show like this you know you got a keeper. Tear.

Poor Maddox and Zahara

Alls I got to say is that when Angelina and Brad get that thoroughbred white baby it's a wrap for these lil' colored chulren. It was a good run kids, a good run. I'm hoping you two develop some skills because that kid is going to have it on lock.

"Shot You Down"

This is the second track on the new Audio Bullys album, Generation. I have already played it three times. It features the vocals of Nancy Sinatra's "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)". It makes me want to put on some booty shorts, go-go boots and shake it like I need to pay the rent and get my baby some formula. Damn, mama might need to hit a club. Dudes are slayin' em on this.

http://astralwerks.com/

Song I want to make sweet, sweet love to

To clarify: As in if I could hump the actual songs I would--not put on the Al Green/Portishead/Zero 7/Sade and get the sultry on with the mister. But that is no ordinary love too.

Let's do dis...

1) The Features "Blow it Out"-Rawk, just awesomeness. Take a listen.

2) Arctic Monkeys "When the Sun Goes Down"-Ass shaking rock track by some snagglied tooth Brits--the lead singer looks 14--the song is about a trick ass trick. Pimps up, hoes down. What you know about that?! Freshness.

3) We Are Scientists "This Scene is Dead"-Ain't that the truth. I was getting my grind on in my chair at work--why lie to y'all.

4) The Grates-"Wash Me"-Again, on some caterwalling groove shit. The whites kids are killing it son.

Thanks kexp.org for always keeping it gully!

Suckas

I feel so good about always hating JT LeRoy and I can get over feeling guilty about "it's" skivved out persona--cause now we all know it was all an effin scam. Pretty brilliant--sick--but brilliant.

Quick synopsis:
Some dude comes out years ago in the literary world with a shitty book (I could only get through a few pages of Sarah--argh) that people are jerking themselves off to be affliated with. I mean, you would have thought that Jesus had risen and become the EIC of US Weekly--it was that deep. Anyway, there was this fucked up backstory about JT being born to a junkie mom and then being led into the world of teen hustling. This in turns leads to drug addiction and--how very late 80's/early 90's--him becoming HIV +. Young JT eventually gets rescued by some fools, meet a shrink, is told to write down his experiences, meets easily duped literary types and boo ya tribe--gets a goddamn book deal. This leads to the glitterati to just trip over themselves in the fawning Olympics and movie deal ensues and life is just grand for little Mr. My Private Idaho.

Now cut to January 9th and the New York Times blows the lid off the mother and reveals that JT is actually a woman by the name of Savannah who's bro and sister and law made up the whole thing to get into the book world when their struggling musician schtick was getting old. Savannah was the one that would appear as JT, do the interviews, et al.

This is the brilliant part: They got away with this shit and made mad bank! Yes, they got caught but millions wanted to buy into--buy into something that wasn't even that great. Yes, many a rich folk wanted to reach out and help this "fragile creature"--but after it seemed fashionable, and it could get them mentioned in some glossy rag. I mean, what fun is it to help real fucked up kids that live in say East New York or the Bronx? That doesn't have the same cache as hanging out with some half-ass memorist in a bad wig that was seems fabulous because he/she was damaged and hung out with Asia Argento and Winona Ryder. Oh and don't get me started on the famous folks that got the Crane on this bitch--that shit is going to crack me up for days.

Just read the Times article...ha, just ha!
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/09/books/09book.html

Oh, and James Frey, your life is calling you buddy...
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/10/books/10frey.html

Kicking off the new year

Hey all it's late, very late--but HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Let me start this off by giving a very heartfelt shout-out to my lovely friends for coming to my crib for a grown and sexy gathering to ring in the new year. And a very special tap on the ass goes to the following people for heeding my words when I said "come dress to impress":

1) My dear Mr. Read--for not only making a succulent turkey breast--but wearing his tuxedo, cute as a goddamn button.
2) Matthew Laumb of Minnesota for owning a Prada suit and wearing it to my shindig...the hotness.
3) Adrienne "Wiggle it just a little bit" Hurst sashaying herself over in a orange colored gown and HER ADIDAS. Which was mad useful since I couldn't get my girl a car when she wanted to leave--and she ended up hoofing it home to Bed-Stuy. Do or die ma, do or die.
4) Ms. Rachel Walker for having pretty lil' clips in her hair and wearing an honest to goodness party dress...and she made a bundt cake. A BUNDT CAKE I said. Who even has a bundt pan? That is deep.

All in all everyone was glorious! Artie gets a twirl for his two poses at the end of the runway; LT for being 6'3" and having a costume change for her next party, I'm scared of you; TA for bringing her boobs and a glorious Xmas gift for her old girl Erika; Michelle for her delightful pretzel treats and chocolate chip and walnut cookies plus her dazzling wit; Ryan and Tracie for just being and making it out, knowing damn well that Ry Ry wanted to die cause he was sick as a dog; Jason for being Jason and bringing me Bloomingdale's popcorn, cause that is how he does; Jim for the bubbly and the bravado--meow; JBrown for her glamour and saying "word" in a fabulous context; Emily and Lefty for being effin cute; Melissa for just coming to my humble abode all the way from Italia; Nicole and her young man--and having the pleasure of watching him follow her around like a puppy--awwww; and Michael and Mark for being smart and sassy.

We laughed, we loved and we ate spinach dip. It really doesn't get better than that at all.

God bless us, each and every one.

Lou Rawls

I'm sorry this to be my first post in the new year but I have to alert you all that the mighty, mighty Lou Rawls has passed on.

Moment of silence.

Okay, now that the silence is over go and download some "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine". True, so true.

Alright, go and educate yourself about the power of the Rawls.
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=11:1e811vsjzz9a~T1

BTW--Daryn Kagen just interviewed the Nuge on CNN and told him of the passing and my man just waxed poetic about the wonder of the Rawls and his prayers for his family. God bless the Nuge and his crazy ass.